Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something I heard and loved. I recently heard Eric Thomas compare gazelles and lions. He pointed out that gazelles run only when chased or threatened and require the right motivation to act. Lions on the other hand do not. They are driven by the process of hunting, unconcerned with the time or difficulty of doing so, and stop only when they have successfully eaten. I believe that each of us possesses the ability to be both a lion and a gazelle, the question becomes which percentage of each are we?
Procrastination, waiting for others to solve our issues, or requiring the perfect stimulus or time to begin, are all “gazelle behaviors” to me. Discipline, relentless hard work regardless of outcome, commitment to processes, and full responsibility over all actions are the lion behaviors we should seek. In my younger years, I looked like a lion but often behaved like a gazelle. Over time, I trained myself mentally and physically to behave in ways I could be proud of, a process that continues to this day. Consider your behaviors and decide whether you want to be the lion or the gazelle.
A recent experience. I signed up to coach my 5-year-old son in a spring football league and was extremely excited. However, as the season got closer, I began to lose that enthusiasm. The number of players assigned to my team was barely enough to field a full team and as I reached out to the parents of my players, many made it clear they wouldn’t be able to commit to attending all practices and games and didn’t seem to care. Before even seeing my team in person, I realized this would not be fun or easy for me to navigate.
As someone that is not a quitter, this put me in a difficult position. On the one hand, when I commit to anything, I want to see it through and give every bit of enthusiasm possible. However, I also don’t want to waste my time or energy on people or situations where it will be taken for granted or undermined. I opted to leave the league and was quickly invited to coach another team for a different football organization. My rationale was that as a volunteer I wanted the best opportunity to impact my young players positively and I went where that seemed to be a priority for others as well. Always remember that you are under no obligation to waste your time and effort on situations where people set you up to fail or don’t value you. That does not make you a quitter, it merely directs your efforts more constructively to other endeavors.
Something I believe. One of the most dangerous things you can encounter in any aspect of life is complacency. When you become complacent, you are satisfied with the status quo and become less interested in elevating the status of something. This can destroy businesses, marriages, fitness, etc.
Whenever we become disinterested in progress, we begin to go backwards. That is why it is crucial to always strive for even small, incremental improvements in whatever we are involved. Improving a product/service in business, communicating with a spouse more effectively, or increasing the intensity of stagnant workouts are all examples of this. When you understand the danger of complacency, it trains you to seek methods to advance even if only a small amount. The comfort zone of complacency is where things go to die, so make sure you’re always striving to improve.
Something funny that helps me. In challenging times, it really helps to be able to smile and laugh. This takes away pressure, lightens the mood, and re-focuses the mind. For a while now, my wife and I have used the phrase, “That’s showbiz baby!” anytime something goes wrong. This is our way of reminding ourselves that things going poorly sometimes just comes with the territory, to suck it up, and move on. It’s a motivational technique we’ve adapted from a ridiculous phrase.
Whether it’s something breaking down in our home and needing repair, a stressful issue or event, pushing through a challenging workout, or having to have a difficult conversation with someone; we use this phrase. As silly as this may sound, the quick laugh it always elicits is extremely helpful in reducing the gravity of the situation and making it easier to move forward. The next time something goes awry, remember it’s not the end of the world, it’s showbiz baby.
Some quotes I Love.
“Adversity causes some men to break; and others to break records.” – William Arthur Ward
“I’m older, I’m greyer, but you best believe that beneath this exterior is the same savage b**tard that I ever was.” – Mike Tyson
“You are not obligated to associate with people who are making your life worse.” – Jordan Peterson