Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
An analogy I like. I am not the handiest of men, but will attempt projects or repairs when I feel confident I won’t destroy our home doing so. When I attempt something I’ve never done before, it usually requires the purchase of new tools to complete the task. As I get experience with the new tools, I become more comfortable using them and can then apply them to additional aspects of home improvement later. Anytime something needs to be fixed and I set out to do so, I end up developing a skill I can use going forward. Life works much the same.
Things will go wrong in life for all of us. People will treat us poorly, loved ones will get sick or die, we’ll get hurt, there will be financial struggles, you name it. However, each time something unfortunate occurs, we must deal with it. Though we may not have asked for these circumstances, we discover talents, resiliency, creativity, and strength we never knew we had to get through them. Over time, we accumulate skills that allow us to face challenges constructively and more confidently. The tough times in our life allow us to develop the tools we’ll need to be successful. If we can learn from them, we can apply them in all our endeavors going forward.
Something I find interesting. I was speaking to a patient this week who has her son in a speed-training program to help him in his sports. She said that she was surprised to find that many people criticized her for allowing him to work out and pursue this form of activity because he is “only a kid.” All four of my children have worked out with me in one form or another since they were incredibly young, so I have also experienced these same criticisms.
What always interests me is that people are quick to criticize when you encourage a child to eat healthy or exercise. However, if you were to let them eat sugary foods, drink soda, and move only when they feel like it; it’s just “letting them be kids.” Likewise, as an adult if you eat well, exercise daily, and take great care of yourself you are often considered too extreme. When people see you making certain decisions for yourself or your family, it forces them to evaluate their own choices. Never second guess what you know will benefit the health of you or those you love for reasons of social pressure.
Something I believe. My belief is that all of us can be broken into one of two categories. Either we will be victims, or warriors and it will depend upon our behavior. Being a victim means you blame circumstances, events, and other factors for where you are. You tend to give up easily, be unhappy, and believe that if you only had better breaks, all would be perfect. Having behaved like a victim at times in my life, I can tell you that this is no way to live.
A warrior on the other hand, takes responsibility for everything. They have a fighting spirit that allows them to face challenges by modifying behaviors, improving processes, staying mentally strong, and never giving up. Being around someone like this is comforting because they are dependable and don’t implode or complain when things go sideways. Many of the strongest warriors I’ve encountered were victimized by others, though their behavior would never tell you so. When it comes to our actions, I can tell you from experience that it’s always best to behave like a warrior and not a victim.
A great reminder. I was getting bloodwork done early one morning and arrived only five minutes after it opened. The office was short-staffed and from the second they opened; it was a zoo. People were upset and complaining, and the receptionist had to manage this room full of unhappy people all on her own. I was there for over 90 minutes and not once did she lose her cool, speak impolitely, or lose her smile. She simply did her job, kept the line moving, and oversaw the challenges. I was impressed because had she started losing her poise, an already tricky situation would have escalated. That is how stressful situations always go.
When things are starting to go badly, the best thing we can do is take a breath and stay calm. This applies to combat, athletics, work, relationships, and everything else imaginable. Keeping our cool allows us to see a bigger picture, make better decisions and not worsen or limit potential outcomes. Seeing that receptionist oversee a room full of angry and frustrated patients was a great reminder of this important lesson, and I took the time to tell her so before I left.
Some quotes I Love.
“If you want to look good in front of thousands, you have to outwork thousands in front of nobody.” – Damian Lillard
“Understand that your son will follow your example, and your daughter will marry it.”
“If it’s your calling, it will keep calling you.”
“Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.” – Aldous Huxley