All posts tagged: motivation

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot

On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant.  I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.  

Something that impressed me.  Two weeks ago, I was at a football game for my middle son.  Sadly, a player on the opposing sideline suffered a seizure (unrelated to an injury or contact) and the paramedics had to be called.  Parents and players alike were worried as this boy remained on the ground waiting to leave via ambulance.  As things got quiet, one of the players on my son’s team asked his teammates to pray for this boy.  At first there was no response, but he was insistent, and soon they were all on one knee in prayer for their opponent.

The boy who asked his teammates to pray is probably the smallest on the team by far.  He does not play a ton and in most cases, would likely not be noticed.  However, when he saw someone in need, he instantly became a leader in whatever way he could.  His teammates respected his conviction, and he led them in prayer in a way that I felt showed great strength and empathy at the same time.  Leadership is all about stepping up in times and ways that may not be expected, and that young man did just that.   

A good reminder.  I was speaking to my best friend last weekend about some issues he is facing.  They include work, ending a relationship, logistical issues going forward, and more.  I have been there myself and understand how difficult times like this can be.  My advice to him was to go “micro.”  In other words, facing the entire picture and every issue at once is going to be too daunting.  You’ll be instantly overwhelmed, so it makes sense to focus on one thing at a time.

When we are facing challenges on multiple fronts, it’s like looking at a map and knowing we need to reach multiple destinations nowhere near one another.  Since it’s impossible to get to each place simultaneously, we must choose one.  Once we have the goal, we can direct our attention more effectively toward it.  This includes taking daily actions steps as well as making sure we don’t neglect ourselves physically, mentally, nutritionally, or in terms of sleep.  In tough times, pick a single problem to begin working on, try to make daily progress toward it, and care for yourself as you do so.  This will help.

Something I hear often.  I’m often told by patients and friends the different things they “struggle with.”  In general, these involve bad habits, poor decisions, and repeating the same behaviors over a period of years.  There are exceptions, but in most cases these wounds are self-inflicted.  Furthermore, there is usually great thought given to the issue and the hold it has over us, but less consideration is given to how to resolve or improve it.

When someone tells me that they’ve been struggling with something for years or decades, it tells me they have either done nothing, not enough, or the wrong things to address it.  There is no shame in having a struggle, we all do.  However, if we’ve had them so long that we talk about them constantly and they have become part of who we are, it’s time to start wondering if we’re approaching it correctly.  If you have been facing an issue for a long time, be open to a different approach.  Sometimes, it’s not that the problem cannot be fixed but rather that we haven’t found the best method to address it.  The answer is likely to include an honest evaluation of ourselves and some hard choices, but it can be accomplished.

Something that resonates with me.  I love to watch competitive shows.  These include everything from cooking to enduring in the wild.  What strikes me is that there are always a group of contestants that seem to “lose” yet come away winning more than anyone else.  In other words, they fail to win the prize but leave happier than anyone else with what they gained through the experience.  This truly appeals to me as a man who has always tried to be his best. 

I’ve won a lot in my life athletically, as a business owner, coach, and more.  In some instances, anything less than first place would have felt like a failure.  However, there are times when going through an endeavor taught me so much that I didn’t care where I finished.  For example, I finished a 100-mile race in about 400^th place and gained a lifetime of lessons doing so.  I can think of sub .500 teams I have coached that I feel more pride in than championship teams because of how they over-achieved and grew as young men.  In life, there are times when you can contend for the top spot but other times when you are nowhere close to doing so but have an opportunity to learn and grow.  Both should be valued and respected because they are crucial in their own ways. 

Some quotes I love.

“If you don’t separate yourself from distractions, your distractions will separate you from your goals.” – Steve Harvey

“When you tell people that the delusions they are experiencing are grounded in reality and that it’s everyone else’s job in society to reflect those delusions back at them, you’re not doing them any favors.  In fact, you’re engaging in cruelty.”

“The truth is, it’s always too soon to quit.  Keep going.” – Sally Mcrae

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot

On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant.  I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.  

Something that resonated with me.  David Goggins is a former Navy SEAL and someone that inspires me.  I listened to him speak this week about his “1 second rule.”  He explained that regardless of how motivated, talented, or driven you may be, success will boil down to how you react over a single second.  The example he used were guys around him that quit during BUDS training because they were so cold.  They sought comfort and in their “1 second” quit, whereas the people that completed SEAL training persevered in theirs.

I find this way of thinking to be accurate.  Some of my biggest triumphs have come when I felt close to quitting but continued.  This premise applies to every important decision.  Deciding not to drive drunk, holding our temper, remaining calm in a stressful situation, attempting something that scares us, and so many other things are examples of this principle.  Take the 1 second rule seriously because you will be faced with it many times throughout your life.  The years of your life will be guided by how you react in those crucial seconds.

A recent reminder.  On Saturday night I went to bed about 9:30 stressed out.  My mind was thinking extensively about how I was going to help someone very important in my life.  I woke up only a few hours later just past midnight and couldn’t turn my brain off.  At first, I tried to get back to sleep but after an hour I decided just to get up and start mapping out what I would do to resolve the issue.  I took a couple hours to think through everything and wrote out a plan.

Foregoing the sleep was worth it for me.  Rather than continue to feel anxious and uncertain, taking the time to face the problem gave me peace and a path forward.  The second I finished writing out my thoughts I felt clear-headed, sure of how to proceed, and more energetic than I would’ve been from sleep.  This was an excellent reminder of the necessity of facing our problems head-on.  The longer we avoid them, the more daunting they become.  Therefore, deal with them as directly and as soon as possible. 

A useful skill.  Do you struggle to wake up on time, eat what you know you should, exercise regularly, study enough, watch less TV, etc.?  Things of this nature are often not completed or done properly because they are challenging.  Also, they are often far less fun and certainly less gratifying in the short term than their alternatives.  Earlier in life, I was not great in many of these areas myself. 

Now, my approach is to do my best to become a master at what I don’t want to do.  This is accomplished through consistency and a mindset where excuses are not tolerated.  As an example, if I set the goal to get up at 4am and run 10 miles, I don’t see how I feel when the alarm goes off.  I go no matter what.  It is imperative to view the difficult things you know you must do as an opponent.  You can’t allow that opponent to get the better of you, you must keep fighting back until it becomes easy to do so. 

Something I noticed.  I was around one of my son’s football teams recently and saw two examples of behavior that interested me.  The first was a coach that showed up for the game complaining about how far a walk it was from his car to the field (barely a quarter mile at most).  He kept going on about it, sounded wimpy, and then spoke to his players about showing determination and having heart.  The other example was a coach that is horribly out of shape preaching to the kids about how important it is to be well-conditioned and in shape.  In both instances I was struck by how what they were saying clashed badly with the example they were setting themselves.  This is common.

Often, we have a set of standards we know are important but do not follow ourselves.  We become great at telling others how to behave but we fail to do it.  For this reason, it is crucial to ask what our behavior, habits, and actions say about us.  Are they congruent with what we are saying?  If not, it is time to make some adjustments.  Remember, don’t talk about it, be about it.

Some quotes I love.

“When they can’t touch the person you’ve become, they’ll dig up who you used to be.”

“Even when I was close to defeat, I rose to my feet.” – Dr. Dre, Still D.R.E.

“There are only two options regarding commitment. You’re either in or out. There’s no such thing as a life in between.” – Pat Riley

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot

On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant.  I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.  

A saying I love.  “We came to prove it.”  This is a simple statement and one I love to use for myself and preach to my oldest sons.  This is a way of saying that we do not want or expect anything to be handed to us.  Instead, we are fully expecting and willing to put the time, effort, and heart into what we’re doing to become successful. 

In essence, all we can hope for from a coach, employer, etc. is an opportunity to show what we’ve got and display our value.  It is important to expect that such an opportunity will arise, and our job is to be ready when that occurs.  That happens by being proactive and training our bodies and minds intensely daily so that we are strong and ready when our number is called. 

Something that has stuck with me.  When I was playing high school and college football, I remember coaches constantly telling players “You can’t make the club in the tub.”  That meant that if you were hurt and sitting out (in the hot or cold tub), you would not be moving up the depth chart and showing what you could do.  Coaches would say this because they had an idea of who was truly injured and who might be milking it to avoid the tough practices.  To some, this may seem harsh, but I love it and it has stuck with me.

When we aren’t at work, on the field, at the gym, or doing what we should be doing, we lose ground.  Progress stalls, opportunities are lost, and we must begin playing catch up.  Sometimes it is obvious that we can’t do something, perhaps we’re very sick or truly hurt.  Those situations are easy to identify.  However, sometimes we magnify a small issue and pretend it’s something serious because deep down we are tired, nervous, self-conscious, scared, worried, etc. and so we stop what we should be doing.  Those are the times when we absolutely must trudge on because they are the moments that display our capabilities and create grit.  You can’t make the club in the tub, and you can’t be successful in an endeavor in which you take yourself out of. 

A frequent reminder for me.  I work out every morning, usually before 5:30am.  Sometimes I will head into my home gym and not know exactly what I’m going to do for a workout.  I’ll pace around, come up with ideas, spin my wheels, and fail to get started.  This happens a few times per month, and I have found a solution.  The second I feel myself wandering mentally and getting off track, I just begin doing something.  It doesn’t matter what it is or if it’s the best thing, I just start doing anything.  Without fail, each time I take this approach my mind clears immediately.  I can come up with a better approach after thirty seconds of activity than I do of ten minutes of over-thinking it.

This same principle applies to life as well.  Sometimes we wait forever for the right time, motivation, knowledge, permission, and the like.  We get nowhere and become frustrated quite easily.  Instead of doing this, just get started.  Don’t worry about anything other than putting in a bit of energy and effort.  That simple action carries a profound benefit.  It removes a barrier your mind creates that prevents you from progressing toward a desired outcome.  Once you begin, positive things will start to happen, and you’ll be on your way.

Something I believe.  We all encounter pain.  It may be physical, mental, or emotional but at some point, we all experience it.  Two things I believe to be true about pain are that most people are so soft they will do anything to avoid even the slightest bit of discomfort and second, pain can be recycled into something greater.

Most people are so scared to feel even the slightest discomfort in their mental or physical state that they hide from pain.  They seek out pills to mask it, withdraw from situations, avoid challenges, and more.  I understand no one wants to be hurting and there are situations where these things are necessary, but by and large as a society we fear even basic discomfort.  My belief is that all pain can be transformed into greatness if utilized properly.  It can be used for motivation, as fuel to alter stagnant or ineffective routines/habits, a catalyst to gain knowledge, and so much more.  I can’t think of any triumphs I’ve had that weren’t preceded by a period of pain, it’s just part of the process.  If you are experiencing a difficult time, do your best to recycle it into something better and make that pain worthwhile. 

Some quotes I love.

“Tell me I can’t.  Watch as I do.”

“People do not decide their futures, they decide their habits, and their habits decide their futures.” – F.M. Alexander

“The master has failed more than the beginner has even tried.”

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.” – Mark Twain

“We are not bestowed with inherently good or bad lives.  We are granted a life, and it is within our control to determine whether it becomes good or bad.” – Marcus Aurelius

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot

On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant.  I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.  

Something I believe.  There are rumblings that a return to COVID lockdowns, masks, etc. is on the horizon.  As a result, I am being asked frequently how I plan to handle it.  For the sake of space, I will just say that I will not do, follow, or allow anything for myself, family, or business that I do not wholeheartedly believe in.  In other words, I am guided by what I feel is right rather than what I’m told.

As most of you know, I never gave into the hysteria the first time around (in my business or personal life) and had no issue accepting the consequences of standing up for what I felt was right.  I was patient with others, but firm in my convictions.  If the same situation is to arise again, I will take this same approach.  My focus will remain on being proactive about my health and that of my family, and I will never allow fear or public pressure to interfere with those responsibilities. 

An important concept.  Priorities are what we consider to be most important.  The easiest way to see what someone’s priorities are is to see how they spend their time.  For example, a person that takes the time to exercise, prepare healthy food, and take nutritional supplements would show an obvious priority of improving or maintaining their health.  How we spend our time and direct our activities reflects what we prioritize for ourselves. 

It is crucial to understand that when we do not set our priorities and direct our actions accordingly, they become set for us.  Sadly, when this occurs our priorities usually become the most unhealthy, unproductive, least useful, and non-rewarding things we can find because they are so easy to fall into.  For that reason, it is vital that you decide what is most important for you to have in your life and then implement habits and processes that jive with that.  Set your priorities before they become set for you.

Something I hear often.  Friends and patients often praise me for not complaining.  They’ll tell me how refreshing it is to speak to someone that doesn’t bring them down with negativity.  Sometimes they ask what my secret is for doing this and my answer is quite simple.

I cannot even stand myself when I complain so I don’t do it.  It’s completely fine to work through issues and confide in others but there is a difference between doing that and whining.  Complaining about things is the ultimate waste of time and energy.  Give yourself a zero-tolerance policy on complaining and embrace the battles you face.  If you do, your life will get simpler, you’ll feel better, and success will find you easier.

Something I reflected on.  Three years ago this week my brother-in-law passed away suddenly.  I recall receiving the call at 6am on a Friday morning that he was in a coma, and we all had great faith and hope he would recover.  That Monday I remember getting a text that there was some type of eye movement seen by his nurses and felt certain my buddy was on his way back.  When I walked in the door that night from work my wife told me her brother was brain dead and would never recover.  I literally just fell over and cried.  It was devastating.

I’ve made some grand gestures to honor my brother-in-law, Sam.  I spread his ashes on the fields where we coached together on, run ultramarathons, and so on.  What I reflected on this week, was that with everything I have done to honor him, I feel he would be most proud that I still consider him to be so important to me.  As an example, when my sister slipped into a coma and died last year, I sat alone in the airport talking to Sam trying to hold my world together as I flew out to say goodbye to her.  There will be people in your life that will have a greater impact on you than you could possibly imagine.  When they’re here, treasure and appreciate them.  If they’re not, keep their memories alive. 

Some quotes I love.

“The simple step of a courageous individual is not to take part in the lie.” – Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

“Non-compliance is not bad behavior.  It’s a critical life skill.”

“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.” – Regina Brett

“Don’t give advice.  Live your advice.  People get your message by watching you.” – Dr. John Delony

“Those trapped in ignorance often refuse to acknowledge their lack of knowledge, and when confronted with the truth, they reject it or respond with hostility.” – Shaun Zimmer

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot

On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant.  I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.  

A recent reminder of an important concept.  One of my sons has been frustrated with his role on a new football team.  Much of what he’s feeling is justified and we discussed the specifics why.  However, after we did so, I told him it was time to stop worrying about what we couldn’t control and start affecting what we could.  A phrase I love to illustrate this is “chop wood and carry water.”  This is a way of saying we must pursue the small but challenging tasks and habits each day that will lead to success.  In this instance, my son and I came up with workouts, drills, practice habits, and a mindset that would translate into even better on-field performance and hopefully fulfilling the roles he desires. 

There will always be situations we feel are unjust or unfair.  Spending too long complaining about them will only cause us to waste our energy and feel worse.  Instead, our best course of action is to do what we can to improve, get stronger, and become ready when our opportunity arises.  When you encounter a situation you don’t like or think is unfair, don’t whine about it; start chopping wood and carrying water.

A great question I was asked.  “What percentage of people would you consider to be strong and capable?”  I was asked this earlier in the week and found it interesting.  My definition of strength would involve a combination of mental, physical, and emotional characteristics.  In other words, it’s not about having the biggest muscles or the ability to win a fight, it’s a combination of attributes that combine to make someone better able to endure challenges and hardships. 

Having said this, I believe that 100% of people possess the ability to be strong and yet only about 20% of people do.  Certainly, no one sets out to become weak or incapable, but it can happen to anyone if we aren’t careful.  Following the crowd, lack of responsibility, not challenging ourselves, constant complaining, bad relationships, poor physical and nutritional decisions, and more are all common causes of weakness in my opinion.  No one will be perfect but taking steps each day to develop mental, physical, and emotional strength will make us stronger and more resilient; and the world always needs more of those people.

Something I heard and loved.  This week I heard the phrase “Don’t think less of yourself but think of yourself less.”  I found this to be very succinct and pertinent advice for two reasons. 

First, it is vital to have a high sense of our own personal worth, high self-esteem, and to maintain lofty expectations for ourselves.  We must think well of ourselves and our abilities because it sets the tone for how we want to be treated and what we expect to attain.  Second, there is a tendency to spend too much time in our own heads over-thinking our circumstances and situations.  This creates stress and at times, isolation.  If we can focus on others, much of that stress and worry subsides naturally.  We grow stronger and deepen relationships with those around us while simultaneously decreasing our own worries.   

Something I believe.  At my office, we have been undergoing plumbing repairs for months.  It’s an older building and poor installations over the years caused accelerated breakdown of the pipes which have caused a series of problems.  Just as poor decisions in plumbing installation can cause issues, poor decisions in life do as well.

Poor behavior can take the form of bad habits, lack of drive, inconsistency, dishonesty, poor actions, lack of integrity, and more.  Initially, these often go unnoticed and become forgotten.  However, over time they cause a breakdown within our lives of self-esteem, trust, relationships, finances, and so on.  This can happen for years and then without warning, we wake up one day and realize things are a mess.  To avoid this, give thought to how you truly want to live your life.  Consider what is most important to you, then craft actions that honor that and allow you the chance to become successful.

Some quotes I love.

“Be careful what you tolerate, you are teaching people how to treat you.”

“Watch what a man does when he stumbles, and you’ll see his true character.  Good times are easy to navigate.  Challenging times require something more.  The challenging times are more revealing than the prosperous ones.” – Ryan Michler

“When you have something to say, silence is a lie.” – Jordan Peterson

“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” – Kenji Miyazawa

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot

On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant.  I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.  

A study I love.  During a study at Harvard in 1957, Dr. Curt Richter placed rats in a pool of water to test how long they could tread water.  On average they’d give up and sink after 15 minutes due to exhaustion.  Rather than let them drown, the researchers would pull them out, dry them off, let them rest for a few minutes and put them back in for a second round.  After only a brief rest and nearly drowning a minute before, the rats lasted an average of 60 HOURS before sinking again due to exhaustion.  The conclusion was that since the rats BELIEVED that they would eventually be rescued, they could push their bodies way past what they previously thought impossible.

I can promise you from personal experience that if you can convince yourself that you are strong and resilient, you can achieve far more than you thought possible.  Much like the rats, you will also find that your results are not slightly better than they were but dramatically so.  Most people give up on themselves at about 40% of their true output as a protective mechanism against discomfort.  When you make yourself push past that point, you will find that you have unlocked an entirely new level of your abilities that will take you places you once thought impossible.

Something I’d like to share.  In 2018, I was the head football coach for a team of eight-year-old boys.  Near the end of the season, a mom came to me and told me her son would not be able to finish our final two games.  I assumed it was an ankle sprain or something similar, but it was a rare form of liver cancer.  He left to go through treatments no one should have to face, especially a young child.  A year later he rejoined our team and almost a year to the day, his cancer returned.  At his final game, I played him more than usual and we beat our biggest rival in a game in which we were huge underdogs.  It was inspirational and we carried him off the field.  I think of that day often.

This little guy underwent a liver transplant a few years ago and seemed to be doing well.  However, I learned on Tuesday that his cancer returned aggressively last year, he is now in hospice care, and expected to pass within days.  I read his father’s description of fulfilling his son’s final wishes and it broke my heart.  I have watched my aunt and uncle, parents, and in-laws all lose children at early ages and know all too well the grief that comes with it.  It is cliched but please remember to take time with the people you care for most.  We get busy and stressed with things every day, but in the end the relationships we have with our family and friends are far more important.  Enjoy those you love and take nothing for granted.

Something I encounter often.  As a chiropractor, I encounter people daily that have been in pain for weeks, months, or even years.  Some of these people suffered serious injuries and some have challenging diseases or conditions, but those are rarer than you may think.  More commonly, I speak to people who have been in pain for long periods but have done nothing to deal with it.  They often come in frustrated that they haven’t gotten better but don’t correlate it with the fact they have done little to nothing to fix it.  Even worse, these cases are usually easy to help if a person is simply willing to do something about it.

I am not suggesting that the second you feel an ache or pain you need to run out to have it checked.  Some things are minor and will resolve easily but more serious things may require at least some assistance, especially those showing no signs of resolving on their own. Your body is a sophisticated machine with amazing healing and recuperative abilities when cared for properly.  However, much like a machine, if it isn’t running well, it may require someone to diagnose and fix it.  If you are suffering from something that is negatively impacting your life, it is worth going to a professional for help.  You may also be pleasantly surprised to discover that the solution to your long-standing issue may be much easier to attain than you thought. 

Something important from a recent seminar.  I attended a seminar last weekend that went into depth on all the specific scientific links between the brain (mind) and all aspects of our health.  These included complex and comprehensive details about how our minds can affect physiology, immune function, cancer cells, and more.  It’s too dense to write about here but suffice it to say, there are vast and proven links showing that your mind drastically affects how your body works.

What struck me most was how negative thoughts can damage the body.  Decreased immune function, pain patterns not tied to injury, proliferation of cancer cells, and more have all been proven to be affected when someone is chronically stressed, angry, and/or negative.  You can literally make yourself sick or worse from the way you think.  Since that is the case, the reverse will also be true.  When you maintain a positive outlook and manage stress as best you can, your body will respond by keeping you healthier and fighting off disease more effectively.  Youl have upwards of 60,000 thoughts per day, learn to use them to your advantage.

Some quotes I love.

“Your focus on hating yesterday is killing your opportunity to love tomorrow.” – Gary Vaynerchuck

“You have power over your mind, not outside events.  Realize this, and you will find strength.” – Marcus Aurelius

“The struggle you are facing is a test to see if you are truly committed to the life you say you want.” – Marc Bernacchi