Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something I was proud of. Our pastor spoke this week about the various aspects of forgiveness. Though I do not hold grudges or walk around with resentment, I think we can all benefit from forgiveness in areas of our life at some point. As a result, I reached out to the person in my life who had hurt me the most. I told them that I had forgiven them long ago, but more importantly, I owned up to my many mistakes and shortfalls. The conversation ended up going perfectly and the person I spoke to was extremely appreciative and said things I would never have expected to hear.
I share this with you to illustrate the power that forgiveness can have. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to agree or be happy with what they did or the reasons why, it simply frees you to move on. My belief is that walking around with resentment and anger is like being chained to an anvil, it will impede your progress. If you want to break the cycle of pain you’ve felt from someone, forgive them. Doing so (whether you tell them or not) will be a gift to them, but even more so to you.
A valuable lesson. In my sophomore year of college football, I had a few dropped passes in practice and the head coach really laid into me. As a wide receiver, it was my job to catch the football and I had some lapses in concentration and failed to do so. Unfortunately, this really rattled my confidence and had a snowball effect on my play for a period. Instead of owning the mistakes, putting in extra work, and getting better; I just got down on myself. In fact, I went from someone who wanted to be thrown at every play to hoping they didn’t pass to me. I became afraid of failing and for a while, my response was to hide rather than step up.
I would love to tell you I instantly absorbed a lesson from this, but I didn’t. Instead, I went on to fail in even greater fashion in life, marriage, business, etc. and let it shatter my confidence and worth for extended periods. Gradually I grasped a crucial lesson, however. It is ok to fail if you learn from it. Personally, I discovered that failure was a great teacher and that I would rather be “in the game” making mistakes than being too scared to try. I have become completely at peace taking risks with the knowledge that sometimes I will come up short. Success is a process that requires all of us to try, experience setbacks, find the gumption to keep going, remain confident, and then eventually remarkable things can happen.
Something that helps me. When I was a kid (and even young adult), I loved pro wrestling – Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Stone Cold, all those guys. Whether watching on TV or attending live, I always enjoyed the entrances. Loud music would hit, the crowd would go crazy, and out the wrestler would come full of energy, swagger, and purpose. Though it may sound odd, I envision a version of this for myself and use it to my advantage daily. Let me explain.
Personally, I never want to arrive anywhere late, tired, low energy, moping, or anything of the sort. Instead, I want to show up at my best, full of fire, and have people gravitate toward my enthusiasm. This is true when I’m with my family, at work, coaching, at church, or anywhere else I may go. Therefore, I must do whatever possible to get myself primed for this. In my case, this entails waking up early, reading my Bible/praying, spending time with my family, daily (intense) exercise, healthy eating, drinking lots of water, watching motivational videos, learning new things, and more. It also involves not putting toxic substances into my body, avoiding bad content online, and minimizing time around people that are unhappy and prone to negativity. When I do these things, my energy level sores, and I can face anything. This is my method of getting ready so that I am ready anytime as if I were about to come through the curtain to a cheering crowd ready to battle.
Something I believe. Whenever I watch sports like basketball or football, I can see the effect that momentum plays. A team will take the lead and look completely confident, only to have another team make a few plays and begin to come back. You can feel the energy almost leave one team and transfer to the other. If you’ve ever played a sport, you know this feeling and how important it is to have momentum on your side. This is true in life as well.
Positive and repetitive action is the best way to develop momentum. Stringing together days, weeks, months, or even years will certainly develop progress that sporadic action won’t. Also keep in mind that poor actions repeated consistently cause regression. Therefore, begin with small basics and stay consistent in them. If you do so, you will begin taking important steps forward. From there, add in and fine tune things further to develop even more. That is how momentum is created and it is crucial to changing your life for the better.
Some quotes I Love.
“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.” – Mark Twain
“Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today.” – Will Rogers
“Only through service and sacrifice can you become great.” – Jon Gordon
“Sometimes, that’s all it takes for a boy to become a man: the knowledge that someone will be waiting to hear from him and hoping for good news.” – from the book “Heck’s Journey” by John Deacon
“Defeat is simply a signal to press onward.” – Helen Keller