Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something that helps me. What in life provides you with meaningful and powerful motivation? Last weekend, my oldest son took time out of a busy teenage schedule to come by and spend time with me. Then, he gave me a wonderful birthday gift that he’d bought on his own and a card that made me cry. Within it, he told me what I’ve meant to him as a father, role model, and more; it was amazing. Something special like this energizes me unlike anything else. In fact, I file these specific moments away as fuel for when I need them most.
This type of “fuel” for me is a distinct motivation I derive from particularly uplifting interactions I’ve had. The recent experience I described above with my son is a perfect example. When I am facing any sort of hardship physically, mentally, in business, or elsewhere, I call upon this “fuel” and it transforms me. The calm place it brings me allows me to keep battling in my darkest times for as long as necessary. I’ve used this to get through tragedies, career struggles, and even to finish races with injuries, hypothermia, and more. If you have something special that touches your soul, think of it when you’re at your worst, I promise it can power you in a profound and unexpected way.
A great reminder. 2012 was the worse year I’ve ever had. My first marriage was nearing its end, my confidence was gone, the future was uncertain, and I had two young children to worry about. On my birthday that year, I was at one of my lowest points ever. I happened to be in a store that day and saw a couple smiling and laughing together. I remember hoping and praying somehow that could one day be me. It seemed impossible at the time and even more so as things worsened over the coming months.
This week, my wife made me a video on social media that had a montage with pictures of us throughout the 10 years we’ve been together. In every photo, we were both laughing and/or smiling and it suddenly occurred to me that what I had asked for that day in 2012 had come true. In fact, I remarried on my birthday exactly five years to the day that I’d first made that long-shot wish. This was an amazing reminder that sometimes our prayers and desires are not answered in the exact time or manner we expect, but rather when we are ready. In my case, my toughest year led me to become a better version of myself allowing what I’d prayed for to later become a reality.
A recent interaction. A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I were discussing challenges I was facing across different areas (business, home stuff, etc.). We began going through specifics but after a few minutes I said, “I’m a scrapper, I’ll figure it out. I always do.” My wife loved that remark and agreed that this was indeed the case. The reason I mention this point is that you are likely wired similarly.
Very few of us are accustomed to succeeding all the time. For most, things can go well one minute/year/etc. and then something challenging happens the next. This has occurred to me throughout my life and in my early years I used to feel sorry for myself. Now, though I don’t relish things going awry, my experiences overcoming obstacles have made me “scrappy.” I know I am capable of handling anything and that I can/will we be guided to persevere in the end. Reflect on your own life’s struggles. Haven’t you usually found a way to get past them and flourish? If so, you’re a scrapper too. If not, it’s never too late to start becoming one.
Something that has really helped me. Recently, my wife invited me to make a “gratitude list” with her. She created this on an app so we could both add to it regularly. What was interesting is that initially we added all the major things you would expect, but then began recording blessings we hadn’t considered right away. Overall, this simple list has had a significant impact on me.
We often spend enormous amounts of time focused on what we don’t have. This may involve finances, abilities, relationships, or a million other possibilities. The issue becomes that as this happens; we forget to pay attention to what we do have going for us. This can lead to resentment, self-pity, complaining, and discontent. However, if you were to suddenly remove from your life something you’d taken for granted, you would immediately realize how important it was to you. It’s great to strive for things we don’t currently have, but never forget to tend to the blessings you’ve been given while doing so.
Some quotes I Love.
“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” – John wooden
“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” – Geoge Washington
“To have more than you’ve got, become more than you are.” – Jim Rohn
“Limits, like fear, is often an illusion.” – Michael Jordan