On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
A good reminder. I spoke to a patient of mine this week that is a high level, sponsored skateboarder. He mentioned to me that he’d recently gone to a large, national event and had placed very highly in a competition. Also, he explained to me when he was there, he felt his competitive juices coming back to him because he was around high performers. He told me how important this was to him because (humbly) he explained to me that normally, he is the highest performer within his circle which often leads to complacency.
I found this to be relevant and a good reminder. Most people I know tend to do only a fraction of the things I do. They think the things I do are crazy and many of them express to me, they wish they could do it themselves. I could choose to feel great about that and tell myself that I am doing enough. Instead, I seek out people that are doing more than me. This changes my mindset from “I’m doing great” to “I need to do better.” It is important to seek out people that motivate and inspire you to ask more of yourself.
Something important. The competency – confidence loop is something I strongly believe in. Competence involves training, practice and learning to build up a set of skills. This is your set of basic skills. However, as you begin to repeat these skills, it will build confidence.
Confidence then leads to excitement and a desire to improve more and perform better. Without becoming competent, you can never truly become confident. Likewise, if you have great confidence but are not competent, you will eventually fail.
As an example, when I graduated from chiropractic school, I was competent and considered one of the best in my class. However, it took me using those skills daily for several years before I began to develop the confidence I have today. If your confidence is low in an area, seek out ways to become better and more competent. As this occurs, confidence will grow, and you will be able to flourish.
Something I often notice. I have conversations with people all the time where they take a lot of time to explain to me how things used to be. In other words, how wonderful things were at another time or how bad they were in childhood, after a loss of some kind, etc. In either case, I am always struck by how much energy they exert into the past while ignoring the present.
An analogy I like to use is if you are driving your vehicle only looking in the rear-view mirror, good things are not coming your way. We are all shaped by events in our past and we do not need to ignore them. We should acknowledge them, use them for fuel or to make a new path, but also move past them. If you are living in the past, you are burning all the fuel you need to move forward on things that can no longer be changed. Look ahead, that’s where you’re going.
An analogy I think works. A patient came to me for an adjustment the other day that I had seen one time, two years prior. She got excellent relief from my treatment but was bothered that the problem returned two years later. She asked, “Why does this keep coming back?” This woman was not in good physical shape, admitted to doing no stretching or exercise, and ignored all the advice I provided to her at her one and only visit. I get this regularly, so I take no offense but it’s a concept worth exploring.
A mechanic can fix an issue with your car if you allow them to do the proper work on it. However, once you drive off the lot, it is up to you to maintain it. If you don’t drive it for months on end, never change the oil, use bald tires, and cover up the check engine light with a piece of duct tape; the car will certainly develop further issues. Conversely, if you care for you vehicle you will give it the best chance to remain in great repair.
Your body works the same way. Whether it’s a chiropractic adjustment, massage, surgery, or anything else; there are no one shot-deal cures to any issues. They can help but even those that work the best will require effort after the fact to maintain and/or prevent further episodes. For example, if you get a knee surgery and don’t follow it up with the proper physical therapy or habits thereafter, you will develop issues down the line. Your body will always require constant maintenance and care just like your car does. If you provide it, you will be pleased with the result. If you do not, you are almost certain to experience problems down the line.
Some quotes I love.
“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s, there are few.” – Shunryo Suzuki
“Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient.” – Jordan Peterson
“It’s easy to forget your own potential when you hang out with people who have given up on reaching theirs. You need to level up your relationships if you want to level up your life.” – Dr. Josh Handt
“A man who is more concerned with being a good man than being good at being a man makes a very well-behaved slave.”
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