Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
An unfortunate reminder. Last week, we had a patient that was incredibly mean to someone in our office. We tried to be kind, understanding, and provide grace; but it was not received well. Instead, the reaction went way out of bounds and was honestly the worst I’ve seen in 19 years of practice. I do not often ask people not to return to my office but had to in this instance. As bad as this all was (and trust me it was), it reminded me of two important points.
First, when people are speaking to you with anger, vitriol, and lack of empathy; they are really speaking to themselves. They’re not happy with who they are, and unload on you what they feel deep down about themselves. Hurt people will hurt others, and this is a form of that. That said, even though you may have an idea of why someone is being terrible to you, it is never your job to stand for it. Being a punching bag for someone else does not serve you or them well in any form or fashion. If you are receiving abuse in any way, there is nothing wrong with finding a path toward removing yourself from the situation like we had to do in our office.
Something I believe. Patients and friends often read my 5 Spots and thoughts about overcoming hardships in life, races, etc. and ask me for advice. Though I’m an average guy, I do feel as if I have been through quite a bit and have tidbits that can be helpful. One general, yet crucial point of guidance that I give regularly has to do with fear.
Fear is the biggest liar you know. Quite simply, it will take who you are, what you can accomplish, the belief you have, and turn it upside down. I have seen this in life, business, athletics, relationships, and much more. Fear will cause you to be hesitant, make poor choices, lose faith, and forget all your strengths. We all get afraid, so if it happens to you, understand it’s normal and you can overcome it. Then from that point, try to fill your mind with past successes, positive thoughts, and/or visions of whatever outcome you desire. Fear is a liar, and you must drown it out, so it doesn’t have a voice.
A recent interaction. I had someone this week ask me question after question about my nutrition, exercise, routines, and habits. They were looking to make improvements in these areas, and I was happy to help. However, every time I would respond to a question, they would make a face and say, “Oh, that’s not convenient for me.” I have some thoughts on this.
First, certain things are quite literally not convenient. For example, seeing patients all day does not make it easy for me to leave and run errands, meet people for lunch, etc. This category is obvious. However, many times when we label things as inconvenient, what we are really saying is it’s not a priority. We want the juice but not the squeeze to produce it. Finally, there is almost nothing that will enhance your life that will be convenient. Anything that can produce momentous results will be tough to complete and logistically challenging. You will need to leave certain habits behind to make space for the things that benefit you more physically, mentally, in business, and in relationships. Don’t worry about things being convenient, just concern yourself with tending to the areas you know you should.
Something that helps me. When I first began running ultramarathons over a decade ago, it was a new experience for my mind and body. In no way am I gifted distance runner so I would find myself in pain quickly as I set out to run 30, 50, or 100-miles at a time. During races, people would ask me how I was feeling, and I would give colorful answers outlining the fact I felt like I had been hit by a train (or wished I had). However, what I came to realize with experience was that anytime I talked about how terrible I felt, it made it worse. I would say those things and then begin focusing on the amount of pain I was in and how much further I had to go. Trust me, you cannot afford that at those types of events.
Later in my career, when people would ask me how I was doing during my events, I would always say “Feeling dangerous.” People would kind of smirk and wonder if I was serious, and I was. Though I was in a ton of pain, saying I felt dangerous had a positive effect. It strengthened my resolve and made me feel whatever I lacked in speed or talent, I could substitute with grit and toughness. This worked so well that I began using it in life. If you’re down, don’t have a pity party and feel sorry for yourself, tell yourself you’re “feeling dangerous” and get moving in a better direction.
Some quotes I Love.
“Going in one more round when you don’t think you can, that’s what makes all the difference in your life.”
“No one can cheat you out of ultimate success but yourself.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Laozi
“A man’s daughter is his heart, just with feet walking out in the world.” – Mat Johnson