Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
Get back in the game. My wife and I share the unfortunate experience of each losing a sibling tragically – her youngest brother in 2020 and my sister in 2022. Both losses were, and still are, brutal. We were talking this week about how neither of us completely withdrew from life after they passed. In my case I held my sister as she took her last breath, flew home, saw patients the next morning, and coached a football game a day later. I said to my wife that in retrospect I still don’t know how we got through those days. Her response was simple: “We knew we had to get back in the game.” Those words perfectly described what we did.
The hardest moments in life can feel like getting knocked on the canvas. Getting back up doesn’t mean you aren’t hurt, and it certainly doesn’t mean you’ve healed (trust me). It simply means that, when you’re able, you keep participating in your life. For us, returning to our routines, children, work, and responsibilities gave us something solid to hold onto while we grieved. The pain was already enormous; withdrawing from everything we loved only would have added to it. When life knocks you down, give yourself room to hurt but when you’re able, get back in the game.
It’s the standard for a reason. In politics and athletics, I often notice how differently we evaluate people depending on which “team” they’re on. We judge the other side by economics, policies, statistics, wins, and losses. Yet, when it’s our own side, we’re more likely to make excuses or give someone a pass because we like them. That’s why it’s always crucial to remember that the standard is the standard. If we only apply it when it supports the conclusion we want, it isn’t really a standard, it’s an opinion.
I learned this personally when I was younger. My mentor in chiropractic called me out for giving myself a pass on both my patient results and the growth of my business. I was angry at first, but he calmly explained that allowing myself leeway would never help me become what I was capable of becoming. That lesson stuck with me. Emotion, loyalty, and ego can cloud our judgment, especially when we’re evaluating ourselves. Growth requires being willing to look at the facts, accept what they’re telling us, and adjust accordingly. Hold yourself to the same standard you use to evaluate everyone else.
A little more. One of the biggest catalysts I’ve found for growth and success is the concept of “a little bit more.” Take something that already works and do it slightly more often or with a little more effort. This could be an extra workout, more studying, five additional minutes of work, or one more attempt. These small increases may not seem significant individually, but accumulated over weeks, months, and years, they can create tremendous improvements in our health, fitness, relationships, careers, and more.
Just as importantly, “a little bit more” trains our minds to keep stretching without making change feel overwhelming. We learn not to become too comfortable while proving to ourselves that we’re capable of more. In my own life, I’ve had far more success with this approach than trying to overhaul everything at once. Instead of always searching for a completely new strategy, identify what’s already working and increase it by 5%. You don’t always need to do something different to get better results, sometimes you just need to do a little bit more.
Where’s the applause? I spoke with a friend this week who was frustrated because he’d been doing a lot of good things in his personal life and business but wasn’t receiving much praise for it. I suspected he wanted me to reassure him and tell him how great he was doing. Instead, I said, “When my 6-year-old eats all of her dinner, I tell her she did a great job. I probably wouldn’t say that to you.” We laughed, but there was an important point behind it. As adults, we shouldn’t expect applause every time we do what’s expected of us.
Showing up on time, paying our bills, treating people well, providing good service, and handling our responsibilities are all important but they’re also what we’re supposed to do. Encouragement is great, but needing constant recognition can make our effort dependent on other people’s reactions. I’d rather get satisfaction from knowing I handled my responsibilities well, whether anyone noticed or not. Appreciate praise when it comes, but don’t require applause for doing what you already know you should do.
Some quotes I Love.
“Your normal day is someone’s dream so be thankful every day.” – Inky Johnson
“The magic in childhood wasn’t because you were a child, it was because you were living in the present.”