Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
A cool moment. Years ago, when I was coaching my oldest son and his friends in football, we had a huge game against our most hated rival. We scored on our opening possession but then our opponent went down and scored as well. As soon as this happened, my team all looked over to me dejected as though I’d be upset. Instead, I excitedly yelled out “Ya baby, the fight’s on now!” We went on to win the game and afterwards, player after player came up to tell me how much motivation they’d gotten out of that one comment and that they felt it dis-spirited the other team.
The reason I said what I did was because the greatest accomplishments in life will not be won easily. You will encounter adversity and setbacks. I was excited when that other team scored because I knew we were in for a battle and would have to compete at our highest level to win, that is how champions become tested. I use this mindset not only in sports but in every aspect of my life. Anytime I am facing an arduous task or situation, I try not to feel overwhelmed or worried. Instead, I get fired up and tell myself “The fight’s on now!” and start taking appropriate action.
A recent interaction. I was speaking with someone this week about a person that frustrates us both. When we discussed some of their methods, my friend referred to them as “old school.” My response was that it wasn’t old school, it was antiquated. Old school is another way of saying you remain committed to tried-and-true principles or methods. Antiquated means you remained fixated on things that may have once succeeded but no longer do, and yet you refuse to adapt.
I believe in hard work, accountability, respectful behavior, toughness, eating well, exercising daily, and more. These may be “old school” because they’re nothing fancy but are effective when pursued consistently. Antiquated on the other hand is much different. I encounter people constantly that glorify how they once lost weight, stayed in shape, succeeded in business, and the like. Though it may have worked at one time, they refuse to accept that a previous approach is no longer effective for them. Instead of altering their methodology, they become frustrated and defiant. Ego prevents them from letting go of what no longer serves them for something that might. Continuing what works is old school, continuing what does not based upon a story from the past is being antiquated.
Something I’ve learned from coaching. In coaching when things become competitive, it can be easy to become transactional where you fixate only on an outcome. In other words, when you score, succeed, or win; you show enthusiasm and praise but if not, you display frustration and/or anger. This type of behavior does not lead to long term growth and players get sick of it quickly. Worse, people will lose respect for you because they know you don’t care about them so much as what they can do for you.
What I have come to understand is that when you can uplift, encourage, and train someone to be at their best; it is far more effective than anything else. The people you’re helping begin to grow and utilize their skills and a trust begins to develop where they seek even more guidance. As a side effect, the results usually become greater which does lead to better “transactional” results in the end too.
Something I believe. One of the greatest roadblocks to any form of personal growth is our limiting vision of what is possible. In other words, we can’t even imagine achieving something greater than our current situation offers. For example, we can’t envision making more money if we’re broke or being in great shape if we’re overweight. Though it may be tough, it is crucial to see past our present circumstances toward a better future.
When I’ve been in my most trying times, I found it almost impossible to picture myself being completely happy and/or successful. I would consider where I was in business, life, relationships, and more and couldn’t even conjure an image of better times to come months or years down the line. Instead of continuing this negative thinking, I learned to start implementing processes or routines that helped me change something in the short term. For example, I took steps to try and see one to two more patients per day which eventually led me to create a busier practice and more financial success over time. As I stacked a series of small victories over a period of days, I could see the vision for a better month, and as months improved, my outlook for the future grew. Don’t worry about the finish line before you start the race. Do what you can now and if you do that well, the limits you place on yourself, and your future will subside.
Some quotes I Love.
“Be a fountain, not a drain.”
“The wise does at once what the fool does at last.” – Baltasar Gracian
“I thought stressful was not having Super Bowl rings so there was a mindset of a champion that I took to work every day. This wasn’t daycare. If I wanted to have fun, I would’ve went to Disneyland with my kids.” – Tom Brady
“Courage is like a muscle. We strengthen it by use.” – Ruth Gordon