Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
Something I believe. As a flawed person myself, I am usually quite willing to accept mistakes from those around me. We can all say the wrong thing or act in a way we regret because we are all imperfect human beings. However, one thing I struggle with is when someone is disloyal. This is when a relationship is not honored, and someone brings complaints or critiques to everyone except the person of which they are speaking. This trait to me is one I struggle to look past because of how destructive it tends to be.
Many of the harshest criticisms I have ever received were from friends, mentors, and coaches. They didn’t say them to harm me, they did so to help me. In the moment, I hated them for expressing it but soon came to respect it. Had they taken those assessments of me and gossiped to others, spoke behind my back, or laughed about me, it would have been of no value to anyone. A hallmark of great character is resisting the urge to say things about others that amuse or appease a crowd. Instead, choose to value any relationship that matters to you by being direct, discreet, and private in situations where people may need some guidance.
An important concept. We all have certain things we know are important for us to get accomplished. Usually, we know precisely what steps should be taken to achieve this but pretend as if it’s a mystery. We procrastinate by making excuses, telling ourselves we have time, and downplaying the imperative nature of what must be done. In other words, we begin bargaining with ourselves, which is why when I do this, I like to remind myself, “Don’t negotiate with terrorists.”
Your mind is a powerful thing. If you tell yourself you must achieve something, you can and likely will. Conversely, if you are only “interested” in that goal, you will find any and every excuse to stand in your own way. Specifically, you will see that your discipline decreases, you complain easily, your effort wanes, and you allow your principles to be forgotten. In this regard you are your biggest enemy, so do not negotiate with that person. Instead, utilize the power of your mind by setting a goal, creating action steps, and refusing to be stopped regardless of what comes your way.
Something chiropractic has taught me. As a chiropractor, I would estimate that about 80% of the interactions I have about my career are extremely positive. The remaining 20% usually involve words like “witch doctor”, “voodoo”, or someone telling me they “don’t believe in chiropractic” as if it were a religion or theoretical. I’m often asked by young chiropractors how I get the 20% of people that are negative toward me and my profession to come see me or change their opinions. My answer is always that I don’t do anything.
When patients or people I encounter have questions about what I do, need reassurance, or are seeking to understand how it works, I am more than happy to offer assistance. However, when someone is more interested in being adversarial or insulting, it does not bother me, but I lose all desire to aid them. I always like to tell people that I cannot rescue anyone that doesn’t want to be rescued, and I’m not interested in taking hostages. In other words, if people would like to utilize my services, I’m eager to provide them but if not, I’m comfortable enough to let them have their opinions and walk away. This doesn’t bother me or affect me at all in fact. In life, not everyone will like or respect you so it’s ok to reserve the majority of your energy for those that do.
An important concept. When I was playing sports in high school and college, coaches would harp on the importance of “competing.” This entailed giving a maximum effort, staying focused, and not letting up in either of these areas regardless of whether things were going well or not. In athletics when we have an obvious, tangible opponent, this is a simple idea to grasp. However, I have found that many people struggle to apply this same principle to their daily lives.
You may have things you want professionally, desire to own, or want to improve about yourself or even your relationships. As noble as these pursuits may be, there is no chance you’ll attain them unless you start acting and put some hustle behind the muscle. For this reason, I think it’s an effective technique to envision yourself competing in life just as you would in a sport. This entails expecting and then dealing with setbacks, maintaining strong levels of effort, adjusting to mistakes, taking advantage of opportunities, and more. I love doing this for my business, finances, fitness goals, personal development, and more. Competition always breeds success so start viewing life this way and it will help.
Some quotes I Love.
“The hardest truth to accept? You already know what to do. You’re just hoping you won’t have to.” – Allen Strong
“The lazy will be offended by your work ethic. The weak will be offended by your strength. The broke will be offended by your desire to be rich. The coward will be offended by your courage. The victim will be offended by your resilience.” – Bedros Keuilian
“Life is full of ups and downs. If you’re sad or angry today, know you won’t always be. If you’re happy or hopeful today, know you won’t always be. Just keep doing good work, work your plan, and have faith that in an uncertain world, doing the right thing is the only play you can make.” – Ryan Michler