Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something I saw and loved. I came across a video on Instagram this week that showed kids reacting to seeing their parents in the audience at various plays, performances, and/or sporting events. The children would get huge smiles and look so happy at the mere presence of those they loved being there to support them. This made me delighted to see, while also reminding me of an essential concept.
When it comes to the most important people in your life, just showing up for them can be half the battle. You may not have all the answers or words to say but being there when someone may be scared, overwhelmed, grieving, etc. is likely to help far more than you’d imagine. There are certainly times when we need people to help us with solutions to complex matters. However, most often when we are amidst our most challenging times, what we really need is someone we love to be there and make us feel supported and less alone. Keep showing up for those you care for, it makes all the difference.
Something that occurred to me. With December being only two days after Thanksgiving this year, I found myself realizing I had a lot to get purchased and taken care of. Between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, I kept telling myself I had to get going right away and buy what I needed. What occurred to me after a point was that we often have far more urgency in consumer matters than we do with more important ones.
We often find it hard to not give in and buy something immediately that we really want. However, when it comes to blowing off a workout, responsibility, meeting, or commitment we often do so easily. In general, the things we want or desire to do now will satisfy us in the short term. Purchases and impulses will gratify us immediately but usually only temporarily. The things that will provide the best outcomes for our health, finances, and relationships will be easy to neglect because they don’t show instant results and will take time to manifest. However, these are truly the areas we should pay most attention to because they can create the best future for us and those we care for. We should all strive to pay most attention to what gives us the greatest benefit as opposed to what keeps us gratified in the moment.
Something I heard and loved. I was watching Monday Night Football this week and the announcers mentioned a quote from the Browns’ quarterback Jameis Winston. He said, “It’s ok to be Bruce Wayne as long as you become Batman when it matters.” He meant it in terms of being a quarterback and not trying to do too much on one play but understanding there are times when you must press the action and excel. I found the saying to be appropriate for football but also pertinent to life.
Most often, being competent and consistent will be adequate to achieve good, if not great, results. This would be the Bruce Wayne phase, and you can go a long way by staying the course and repeatedly fulfilling basic responsibilities. However, there may be goals and times that require far more determination, focus, and creativity to achieve. If you want those goals, you must do far more than is normally expected. This would be the Batman phase, and it comes with a high price of time, energy, and sacrifice. Be incredibly consistent but don’t be afraid to go all out and all-in when the goal or situation calls for it.
A simple reminder. My daughter is four years old, and she and I always listen to different music in my car. When I play something she does not like, she boos it and says, “thumbs down!” Conversely, when I play a song she likes she says, “What kind of song is this?” (her way of asking what’s the name of the song) and then will say “Turn it up baby!!” What my daughter is exhibiting with these simple reactions is the use of gut instincts and how to react to them. As adults, we face far greater decisions and consequences than what music we listen to, but the substance is the same.
Most of the time, our gut instincts tell us what is or is not right for us. We know exactly where to start, what to do, things to avoid, and how to proceed. However, we often ignore this feeling and choose the wrong path due to over-thinking, convenience, or pressure. Worse, we then expend energy trying to make work what we know never will. It is important to develop discipline where you first trust your instincts and then react to them decisively thereafter. This is not a guarantee of success, but it tends to get you pointed in a solid direction that you can work with and be proud of. If you are weighing any decision, treat it like my daughter does her music. If it feels right, turn it up and if not, turn it off.
Some quotes I Love.
“Responsibility walks hand in hand with capacity and power.” – J.G. Holland
“Most people spend their lives searching for their purpose while their gifts collect dust. Here’s the truth, you’re already equipped. Just like a Cadillac comes loaded with features, you were born with everything you need but you’re still hitting buttons manually when you could be using autopilot. The greatest problem isn’t lack of talent, it’s lack of awareness and application.” – Eric Thomas