Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
A great experience. I’ve loved a quote from Mr. Rogers for years: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’” As my daughter waited to enter her kindergarten class this week, I noticed her getting nervous. I shared that quote with her and pointed out several classmates who were crying and scared. Then I asked if she would be a “helper” once she got inside. She immediately said, “I will, Daddy.” Almost instantly, her nerves seemed to lessen as she shifted her focus from her own fear to helping someone else. Even at six years old, she understood something incredibly valuable.
We all get nervous or scared, but one of the best ways to regain perspective is to look for someone who could use our help. Helping others shifts our attention away from our own worries and gives us a sense of purpose and responsibility. It doesn’t have to involve a crisis; it can happen at school, work, athletics, social gatherings, or anywhere else we find ourselves uncomfortable. When you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, look around and ask yourself, “Who can I help?” You may be surprised how quickly serving someone else can calm your mind, strengthen your confidence, and make the situation better for both of you.
Something I heard and loved. I recently heard a woman describe her rule as, “You can only complain once.” I loved it because we all deserve a moment to acknowledge when something goes wrong. Life can catch us off guard, and talking through our frustration can be helpful. However, continuing to complain often becomes a hinderance to solving the problem. At some point, we must stop discussing how bad the situation is and start doing something about it.
We all go through difficult seasons, but there is a big difference between processing a problem and living in it. Complaining, blaming, and rehashing what went wrong can consume the energy we need to make things better. Thus, give yourself a brief window to acknowledge the problem, then shift your focus toward action. Solutions make difficult circumstances feel more manageable and give us a sense of control. Whether it’s a rule you apply to yourself or to the people around you, “only complain once” is a solid way to turn frustration into progress.
A good reminder. My wife recently started posting videos of me adjusting patients on our social media, and many have unexpectedly reached hundreds of thousands of people. With that kind of exposure, a certain amount of negativity is inevitable. A couple of friends asked how I deal with it, and my answer was simple: “I don’t rent space to anyone who wants to wreck my home.” I’m always open to feedback from people who genuinely know me, understand the situation, and want to help. However, not every opinion deserves our attention.
There is a big difference between feedback and negativity. Taking advice from someone with relevant experience who sincerely wants to help can be invaluable. Constructive criticism can teach us, challenge us, and make us better. Conversely, engaging with someone who simply wants to provoke, criticize, or make you feel bad about yourself only drains your time and energy. We should be intentional about who gets access to our attention and influence. I recommend listening only to people who have earned your trust and have a genuine interest in your growth. Likewise, don’t allow strangers or anyone else with nothing constructive to offer to reside in your head rent-free. Protect your confidence and peace, stay focused on what matters, and be selective about whose opinions you allow to shape you.
An analogy I like. I believe life is a lot like cooking. You may not get all the ingredients you want, but you still have to make the best meal possible with what you have. Unfortunately, many of us spend too much time wishing for better circumstances instead of figuring out how to maximize the ones in front of us. We hope, pray, and wait for everything to fall into place, when the better approach is to start cooking with whatever is already on the counter.
The goal isn’t to immediately create something perfect; it’s to make the most of what you have now and improve from there. When you maximize your current resources, you often create opportunities for the next step. One improvement leads to another, and over time those small gains can completely change the outcome. You may not have all the ingredients you want, but you likely have more than enough to get started. Stop waiting for the perfect recipe, use what you have, and start cooking.
Some quotes I Love.
“Just listen to your gut, OK? And on the way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they’ll let you know what’s what.” – Ted Lasso
“At the end of your feelings is nothing. But at the end of every principle is a promise.” – Eric Thomas
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