Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
A battle worth fighting? When someone I care about is facing a crisis, major life event, or is in a true time of need, I want to be someone they can rely on. My mentality is simple; I want to be in the battle with them. Living this way trains us to look for opportunities to help and support the people around us. However, I’ve also learned there’s an important distinction to make: am I helping someone through a genuine need, or am I simply accommodating their preferences?
Other people’s preferences can quietly consume a tremendous amount of energy. We start worrying about their schedules, convenience, opinions, and reactions to relatively minor problems. I’ve allowed this to happen in my own life and watched it take energy away from my business, my family, and the things that matter most. Being there for others is a wonderful trait, but our time and energy are limited resources. Be willing to enter the battle with people you care about but don’t exhaust yourself fighting every inconvenience for them.
Avoid the wash. When I coach defense in football or basketball, I often remind my players, “Don’t get caught in the wash and take yourself out of the play.” In sports, that means being aware of what’s around you, so you don’t run into teammates, get tangled up with other players, or take an indirect route to where you need to be. There’s already enough working against you without accidentally creating another obstacle for yourself. Staying effective requires awareness, discipline, and keeping a clear path to your objective.
Life has plenty of “wash” too. Our phones, busy work, unnecessary drama, recreational distractions, and worrying about things that ultimately don’t matter can all pull us away from what does. The danger is that these things may not seem harmful in the moment, but they consume time, energy, and attention that could be directed toward our families, health, careers, relationships, and goals. Pay attention to what’s taking you out of the play. Stay focused on what matters, avoid unnecessary obstacles, and don’t get caught in the wash.
It’s all we can do. This weekend while coaching soccer, I noticed the effort of a sweet five-year-old girl on my team. Every time I saw her, she was sprinting as hard as she could and exerting herself at a level I’d never seen from her before. It was obvious she wasn’t giving 80%, 90%, or even 99%, she was giving everything she had. I kept praising her, telling her to keep going and that I was proud of her. Watching her reminded me of a simple truth – “all any of us can do is all we can do.”
Giving everything we have doesn’t guarantee the outcome we want, but it gives us our best possible chance. The difficult part is being honest about whether we’re actually doing this. It’s important to understand that working hard, putting forth a solid effort, and/or doing a good job aren’t the same as giving our best and deep down, we usually know the difference. There’s almost always another gear available if we’re willing to go further and find it. Whatever matters to you, give it every ounce you have. You may not control what comes back, but you’ll never have to wonder what might have happened if you’d given more.
Follow the code. My football team lost a close championship game last weekend to an excellent opponent. My players were understandably upset, but when I addressed them afterward, I felt surprisingly calm and at peace. I explained that we had followed the “Warrior’s Code.” We gave our best, received our opponent’s best, and should be willing to accept the result. We fought hard, competed the right way, and happened to come up short that day. It’s disappointing to lose, but there’s no shame in giving everything you have and still being beaten.
The Warrior’s Code applies far beyond sports. To me it entails living by solid principles, preparing well, giving consistent effort, and not being afraid to fail. We naturally want good outcomes, but we can’t always control them. What we can control is the process that leads us there and how we respond when the result isn’t what we wanted. If we live this way, we’ll win plenty, but when we lose, we can accept it, learn from it, and move forward with our heads up. I believe in fighting hard, fighting honorably, and then having the courage to accept the result; that is the Warrior’s Code.
Some quotes I Love.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms, to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor E. Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
“A man without a meaningful mission is a dangerous man.”