Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
The Biography Test. I’m a big believer in the power of mindset and use various tactics to keep mine where it needs to be. One of my favorites is something I call “The Biography Test.” When I’m dealing with a situation, making a decision, or reacting emotionally, I imagine how it would read if someone were writing my biography. Would it be a story of overcoming adversity, accomplishing something meaningful, helping others, or growing as a person? Or would it simply be another example of getting worked up over something that ultimately doesn’t matter? This simple exercise has helped me separate important moments from insignificant frustrations for years.
Think about the biographies you’ve read. The inspiring parts are about people overcoming obstacles, persevering through hardship, and doing things that matter. Nobody wants to read chapter after chapter about broken appliances, petty disagreements, inconveniences, or complaining. When I have a meaningful moment with my children, help someone, or accomplish something difficult, I know that’s a chapter worth writing. When I’m frustrated over a trivial matter, it’s a reminder to regain perspective. We’re all writing our own biographies through our daily actions. Make sure you’re filling yours with stories worth telling, not complaints or reactions that aren’t worth remembering.
Winning is fun. One of my former assistant coaches used to tell our players when they started messing around and losing focus, “I know you want to have fun, but the most fun thing is winning.” His point was simple: having fun in the moment feels good, but losing because you weren’t focused rarely does. I’ve thought about that advice often because it applies to so much more than sports. Sometimes the things that feel good right now come at the expense of the things that would make us feel great later.
Some of the most rewarding feelings in life come from achievement, pride, self-satisfaction, and knowing we gave something our best. However, those rewards require discipline, consistency, and a willingness to delay gratification. When we prioritize entertainment, comfort, or immediate enjoyment, we can easily sacrifice the effort necessary to accomplish something meaningful. I’ve found that the satisfaction of achieving a goal far outweighs the temporary pleasure of taking the easy route. There’s nothing wrong with having a good time along the way, but don’t let the fun you’re having today cost you the satisfaction of winning tomorrow.
He’s not the same guy. One of my favorite movies is Cinderella Man, the true story of boxer James Braddock, who goes from the top of his profession to desperate financial circumstances before making an incredible comeback. In one of my favorite scenes, a boxer who had previously defeated Braddock is now struggling against him. When his manager reminds him that he’d beaten Braddock before, he responds, “He’s not the same guy.” I’ve always loved that line because it captures something important about life: who someone was yesterday doesn’t necessarily tell you who they are today.
I’ve experienced plenty of highs and lows in my own life – tragedies, triumphs, moments I’m proud of, and choices I wish I could take back. Along the way, I’ve learned that some people will always remember your mistakes and judge you by who you used to be. However, growth requires giving yourself permission to become someone different. We can learn from our failures, change our habits, raise our standards, and become far better than we once were. Don’t let your past or someone else’s opinion of it convince you that you can’t change. Give yourself the opportunity to become the person who makes others say, “He’s not the same guy.”
Sometimes it hurts and that’s ok. When I was running 100-mile races, I’d often make friends and strike up conversations with fellow competitors. Unfortunately, I also had plenty of runners tell me they were quitting at the next aid station. I’d try to talk them out of it but rarely succeeded. Their most common reason wasn’t an injury, but the relentless discomfort that comes from spending countless hours on your feet. The pain frightened them, and they decided they’d had enough. Those experiences taught me something valuable that applies far beyond running; when you’re pursuing something difficult, there will be times when it hurts, and that’s completely normal. Life works the same way.
Feeling tired, discouraged, bored, doubtful, or uncomfortable doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong or that you should quit. These feelings aren’t unique to you; in fact, they’re part of the experience of doing hard things. I’ve learned that focusing too much on how bad something feels in the moment can make a temporary struggle seem permanent and cloud decision-making. During those long races, some miles were amazing, others were miserable, and plenty fell somewhere in between. Whenever life feels particularly heavy, I remind myself of that same lesson. Just because it feels bad right now doesn’t mean it always will. Don’t allow a temporary low point to convince you to quit something that still matters.
Some quotes I Love.
“Going in one more round when you don’t think you can, that’s what makes all the difference in your life.” – Rocky Balboa
“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies.” – Andy Dufresne, The Shawshank Redemption