Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
Something I often teach. One of my favorite coaching sayings is, ‘What’s good for the offense is good for the offense.’ In football, this means that when a particular player, play, or concept is successful, it often creates opportunities for everyone else as well. A strong running game opens up the passing game, a player doing well commands more attention that frees others up, etc. Success is not isolated and tends to snowball into more success. Teaching players this concept helps them understand that working hard for the benefit of the team is also an investment in their own future opportunities. When individuals stop focusing solely on themselves and begin contributing to something larger, everyone benefits. I’ve found that this lesson applies even more powerfully outside of football.
As the head of a family of six, I understand that when I improve physically, financially, emotionally, or spiritually, the people I love benefit from those improvements too. At the same time, when my wife and children grow, succeed, and thrive, it strengthens our entire family. Life is rarely a zero-sum game where one person’s success must come at another’s expense. More often, the opposite is true. By supporting, encouraging, and investing in those closest to us, we create an environment where everyone has a better chance to succeed. Just like on the football field, what’s good for one member of the team often ends up being beneficial for everyone.
A great reminder. As I was drifting off to sleep one night this week, my mind randomly wandered back to a particularly difficult season of my life. I found myself recalling the setbacks, heartache, uncertainty, and seemingly endless challenges that filled that period. Yet almost as quickly as those memories surfaced, my perspective shifted. Instead of focusing on how difficult that time had been, I began thinking about everything I had overcome and how far I’d come since then. It served as a powerful reminder that our current circumstances often cause us to forget the battles we’ve already won.
That reflection also reinforced the importance of having gratitude. We naturally tend to focus on what is missing, what still needs to be accomplished, or what isn’t going according to plan. However, there is huge value in occasionally looking backward and taking inventory of what we already have. For me, that list includes family, health, purpose, fulfillment, and a deep sense of contentment. Life will always have difficult seasons, but they do not define the entire story. Every so often, take a moment to reflect on the obstacles you’ve overcome and the growth they’ve produced. I think you’ll find not only a sense of pride in your resilience, but also a greater appreciation for the many blessings that exist in your life today.
Something I believe. Have you ever been casually asked how you were doing, only to find yourself launching into a detailed explanation of a problem or frustration the other person had no involvement in? I jokingly refer to this as “taking hostages.” What begins as a simple greeting can quickly turn into an expectation that someone else absorb, process, and respond to an issue that may have little relevance to them. While it’s completely natural to want to talk through our challenges, I’ve come to believe that not every struggle needs to be shared with everyone. In fact, being intentional about who we confide in can often be more beneficial for us and those around us.
With experience, I’ve learned to keep the circle of people I discuss my biggest problems with small. Rather than seeking input or validation from a large audience, I prefer to confide in one or two trusted individuals. These are strictly people who I believe possess the wisdom, experience, or perspective to help me navigate the situation. I’ve found that when we overshare, the focus can shift away from solutions and toward repeatedly reliving our emotions. While there is certainly a time and place to seek support, there is also value in exercising discretion. Not every burden needs to be carried by everyone we know. Sometimes the best approach is to quietly work through the issue, seek guidance from a trusted source, and direct our energy toward solving the problem rather than simply talking about it.
An important concept. There is a line in a song I enjoy that says, “Vices turn to habits, then habits turn to stone.” I’ve always liked that phrase because it highlights how easily small, questionable choices can grow in our lives like weeds. Rarely do people wake up one day and find themselves trapped in a destructive pattern. More often, it begins with a seemingly harmless decision that is justified with thoughts like, “It’s not that bad,” or “Just this once.” The problem is that every repetition makes the behavior a little easier and a bit more familiar. Over time, what began as an occasional choice can become a habit, and eventually a way of life. Understanding this process is important because it reminds us that our daily actions are shaping who we become.
The good news is that this principle works both ways. Just as unhealthy habits can take root through repetition, so can positive ones. Eating well, exercising, studying, being dependable, and treating others with respect are all behaviors that become easier and more natural the more consistently we practice them. The challenge is that the behaviors that improve our lives require discipline, while the ones that harm us offer immediate comfort, pleasure, or escape. Take a close look at the habits you are building each day because they are quietly creating your future. If some are destined to turn to stone, make sure they are the ones that strengthen you, serve others well, and move you toward the life you truly want.
Some quotes I Love.
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” – Ernest Hemingway
“It really does just be like that sometimes.” – a common phrase in ultrarunning referring to the tough times everyone experiences within a race