Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
An important lesson. When I was in my early twenties, I worked for a friend of mine in his retail business. He was extraordinarily successful, and I learned many lessons from him. One occurred when I saw him vacuuming and asked why he was doing it and not one of his employees. His response was that “If you don’t care enough to vacuum your own place or do the little things, you will never succeed.” Flash forward years later and patients will often see me cleaning or fixing things and ask why I don’t leave it for someone else to do instead.
My belief is that if the best player on a team is the hardest worker and willing to do even the smallest tasks to succeed, the team will be in great shape. However, if the best player is egotistical and expects only others to do less than glorious things, the team will suffer. I have successfully used this philosophy in business, my home life, and more. Though I am comfortable allowing people around me to manage their responsibilities, I am always willing to help in any way possible regardless of how high or low-level it may be. This boosts production and morale; it also leads to trust within any group environment or culture.
A great reminder. My two youngest children are in pre-school and kindergarten. My son must wear a uniform to his school, is rarely excited about the upcoming school day, and often talks about “having to go to school.” My daughter on the other hand treats going to her pre-school like she’s heading someplace magical. She enjoys getting ready, discussing the upcoming day, and talks about “getting to go to her class.” In full disclosure, their dad was never excited to go to a day of school in his life, but the differences between these two attitudes is significant.
When you think about something that you “have to do,” you are not energetic, excited, or open-minded. You tend to go through the motions and wish the time away. However, when you behave as though you “get to do” something, things proceed much differently. You behave with enthusiasm, are driven, and have a sense of purpose for whatever stands in front of you. When I have a packed schedule at work, I like to remind myself that I am fortunate that I get to help so many patients and earn a living doing so. In my toughest 100-mile runs, I have always reminded myself that I get to do something extraordinary rather than feel sorry for myself and behave as if I’m being forced to compete. As simple as it may sound, reframing your mindset in any endeavor from “having to” to “getting to,” can be transformative to your results.
Something I’ve learned. Like most, I’ve had people be incredibly unkind to me. I’ve dealt with it professionally, personally, and in every aspect of my life that you can imagine. I would love to tell you that these things never affected me, but the truth is many left a mark. I often believed the wrong things about myself, questioned who I was, and neglected even my most precious gifts for the smallest of flaws. I would repeatedly seek approval from people in my life only to hear terrible things and keep coming back for more. What I slowly came to understand was that when others are critical of us, we tend not to stop loving them. Instead, we stop loving and having faith in ourselves.
When this powerful concept is understood, we come to some powerful decisions. First, we must decide whether the people that disparage us are even worth having in our lives. If they are consistently mean and not helpful, I would argue they are not. Second, we must choose how we want to behave toward others in our lives. Personally, I want to uplift my wife, children, friends, and patients so I choose my words carefully and with love. In the event I must tell them a hard truth, they will know my intentions are pure and meant only to assist them. Be careful of how you let others speak to you because it can affect your sense of worth. Likewise, be impeccable in how you talk to those you care for, because it impacts them as well.
An analogy I like. I speak to people constantly that are frustrated with where they are in terms of their health, fitness, physical appearance, finances, and more. Often, they are not taking steps to improve these areas yet are angry that things are not magically working out. To me, this is like me being upset that Broncos don’t hand or throw me the ball. I’m not even in the game, why would I expect to be involved or successful within it? As obvious as this is in sport, it is common for many of us to expect success in life when we haven’t even put ourselves into the game.
For example, if someone wants to get into shape and lose weight but misses workout after workout and continues to eat fast food repeatedly, are they truly seeking that goal? Is a business owner that wants to increase their income on a path to do so if they sit at their desk all day and mindlessly search the web? It’s extremely simple, if you want to succeed in any area, you must first start pursuing action steps that can achieve it. This is how you get yourself into the game. Just like those on the field, you will make mistakes but if you keep at it, triumphs are able to follow.
Some quotes I Love.
“Get up. Nobody cares about your story until you win.”
“A wise man can always be found alone. A weak man can always be found in a crowd.” – Bruce Lee
“Marketing is really just about sharing your passion.” – Michael Hyatt