Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
Something I believe. I’ve been in various crisis situations throughout my lifetime. These have run the gamut from physical altercation and being held at gunpoint, to crunch time athletic situations and high-pressure business matters. One thing I have come to believe is who you become when the pressure is at its highest is who you truly are. The stress of those moments doesn’t change you; it simply magnifies who you are.
For example, a person that turns on friends or co-workers because of a stressful situation is not someone who can be relied upon. Those that panic, blame, or flee because things seem difficult rarely are. Conversely, someone with the ability to remain calm when things are going poorly around them is invaluable. People such as these can be trusted because their only motive is to find a solution rather than assign blame or leave others hanging. In my experience, the biggest difference between these two groups is not genetic or vast. It can often be as simple as taking a few deep breaths and asking what action can be taken next to improve things.
Something I think of often. I coached my middle son and a group of boys in football from the time they were seven, until they were thirteen. To make it fun and encourage them, I purchased a few WWE championship belts and would award them to our MVP’s each week. The kids would get to keep them until our next game and loved taking pictures with them, so it became a big deal to earn one. Usually, I would award three each week and did so for a couple seasons. However, during the first game of one of our seasons, one of my favorite players said to me, “Hey coach, you giving out three belts again? I don’t think there’s any honor in three belts, it should be two.” That interaction was one of my favorites in my coaching career and reminds me often of an important lesson.
Most of us have a desire to be challenged and seek to be awarded only when we do exemplary work. Though it can be difficult to succeed at times, that is exactly what makes the eventual achievement so worthwhile. If things are handed out or become easy to attain, we lose the sense of accomplishment that comes with working hard toward a goal. When I reflect on my life, the things I am most proud of did not come easily, took time, and made me better in the process. My player was right, there is no honor in three belts just as there is none for reaching a low bar. You only want that adulation that comes from being at your best and achieving the toughest of goals.
Something parenting has taught me. As most of you know, I have four children. Two of my sons are teenagers, one is six, and my daughter is four. As a result, I carry extensive experience with being a dad and all that comes with it. One of the most crucial lessons I have learned from being a dad is that a huge aspect of my role is what my behavior is when things become inconvenient.
My children will need my attention, advice, comfort, etc. at many different times. These can be when I’m relaxed, have time to burn, and feel at my absolute best, though that is not usually the case. More often, I will be needed most when it is the least convenient for me. How I react in those moments makes or breaks me as a parent. What I strive to remind myself of is that my kids do not understand all that is going on in my life, they are merely asking me to help with what goes on in theirs. When I began framing it in that light, it became so much easier for me to put down other things and tend to them. Regardless of whether I am tired, hungry, stressed, or anything else; I consider it my duty to always be someone my kids can rely upon when they need me for issues both small and large.
Something chiropractic has taught me. One of the compliments I receive often from patients is that I’m confident in what I do. Many of my patients come to me from other doctors who they say are timid, unsure of themselves, and afraid to do enough of a treatment to help the patient. I’m always appreciative to hear these kind words from my patients because it speaks to an issue that goes beyond my profession.
Being timid helps no one. It is like telling those around you that you do not trust yourself enough to do what you know will help but may be uncomfortable or challenging to some degree. Furthermore, it speaks to those around you that you don’t care enough to assist in the way you know to be most beneficial or important. Finally, when you are not confident in what you do, people around you instantly sense it, and it causes them to feel uneasy and even scared. It is prudent to be careful of course, but you must own what you do well and apply it. Whatever it may be, master your craft so that when demanding situations arise, you feel called and confident enough to be the person that steps up and utilizes your skills.
Some quotes I Love.
“To do big things, you have to say no to a lot of average things.”
“Your calling will cost you comfort, but it pays in legacy.”
“Big players make big plays in big games.”