On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something that bothered me. The football team I coach is comprised of 11- and 12-year old’s, most of whom I have coached since age 7. We’ve always been good, but this season we have been dominant. The boys all work hard, know our system well, and have played together for so long which has made an enormous difference. After a recent win, I was contacted by the league. They told me that parents of the opposing teams had complained about us doing so well and asked for proof of my players’ ages. They felt that because of our performance, we must have boys that were too old for the league on our team. In other words, they accused us of cheating.
I was disappointed to hear this for two main reasons. First, as anyone that knows me would tell you, I do not cut corners or cheat on anything. My moral code would never allow it and being accused of doing so, crossed a line for me, and made me mad.
Second, too many people have forgotten how to take a loss. I’ve played or coached in games where I’ve left the field embarrassed by how poorly I/we did. That feeling is horrible but it’s a powerful tool. It can be used to identify weaknesses and implement processes and actions that lead to improvement. When you make excuses and blame others for your own inferior performance, those losses become wasted and lead to nothing constructive. Worse, it creates a mindset that you are entitled to win and if you don’t, you were treated unfairly. Not a great life lesson. Always try to win, but if you don’t; handle it with class and learn from it.
Something I have found useful. I pride myself on pushing the envelope physically through my training to strengthen myself mentally. When my body wants to quit, I am forced to rely upon my mind to get me through. Over the years, I have found diverse ways to accomplish this but today I’ll share one I use often.
When I am alone, exhausted, and would like nothing more than to be done with what I’m doing; I picture my family, friends, people I care for most, those that look up to me, etc. These people care about me so when I compete or train, I like to feel that I do so in their name too. No matter what, I can control the effort I put in. If I give my absolute best than I honor those people, anything less I view as disrespectful to them (and me). This mindset has helped me out of some painful and dark situations by making me feel less alone and more motivated to persevere.
A question I get all the time. “Can Dr. Kenney fix this?” We get calls to our office daily from new patients asking if I can resolve a certain condition for them. Often, these people have tried other things without success and are looking for a guarantee that I can fix it for them before they invest any time and money. I bring this up to illustrate a key point. No one can ever give you guarantees about your health because every person and situation are unique.
When people look for assurances, all I can offer them is the experience I have/do not have treating certain conditions. I also make sure they understand until I examine and/or treat them, any expectations of outcomes I might have, would only be theoretical. I have helped people with back pain millions of times, but if someone asked me if I could fix their back pain, I would still say “I don’t know.” What if they show up with a metal rod in their back? What if they have something that only a surgery could fix? I would not be able to help those things and would have given them false hope. When it comes to your health remember there are no guarantees. It is your responsibility to research which avenues may potentially help you and then pursue and try those you feel most confident with.
Something important. My wife had a woman referred to her for the metabolic testing service we offer. My wife reached out to her as promised and the woman was rude, complained, and behaved like a child, all over scheduling a 10-minute test that she’d requested. Worse, this woman owns her own business and I’m sure would never enjoy people behaving that way toward her. This reminded me of two important things.
First, I believe that how you treat anyone is how you treat everyone. If I see someone treating someone poorly, talking down to them, or behaving badly toward them; I lose all trust in them. I don’t care if they’d make me money or help me in some way, I will not associate with them. I am certain at some point, I would become the recipient of such behavior and am saving myself the headache.
Second, reputation is everything. When you treat people well, word gets around and if you treat them poorly, it spreads like wildfire. People you might think are not observing your behavior are. Down the line, how you behaved when you thought no one was looking, may come back to you in either a positive or negative fashion. None of us are perfect, but consistent, good behavior is necessary in building a solid reputation.
Some quotes I love.
“If you think tough men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men are capable of.” – Jordan Peterson
“Entitlement = Hardly showing up and expecting results in the short term. Hustle = Showing up consistently and expecting results in the long term.” – Brandi McDonald
“The words you talk, better be the words you walk.” – Eddie Gallagher
“Sometimes the hell in front of you can be so dark and painful that it is incomprehensible, but we still must fight. It is in those moments when everyone else wants to quit that you must step up and be that one warrior.” – David Goggins
“Stay away from people who act like a victim in a problem they created.” – Rick Lopp
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