Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something I believe. I used to work for a chiropractor that viewed business very differently than myself. My focus centered on sustainability of any/all business decisions whereas his tended to be with how things made him feel. For example, I would often go to business lunches and leave excited to tell my boss about how it could lead to the growth of our practice. Conversely, he would leave every lunch and tell me who paid. Most of the time the other party would pick up the check and he would leave feeling thrilled despite no business being accomplished. This always annoyed me but taught me a great lesson.
It is extremely easy to get distracted from our goals and purpose. Using the example above, my objective was solely to feed my family better during a time when I was struggling financially as a newly single dad. I was happy to pay for lunches, meet with anyone, explore all options, and do anything within my power to achieve that goal. There was nothing in the world that was going to distract me from achieving what I set out to do and it didn’t. Stay true to what matters most to you and don’t allow the unimportant things to draw you off course.
Something I think of often. Back in Boston, there was a term we used called, “telephone tough guy.” This referred to someone that would always talk about how tough they were, yet when a physical conflict or confrontation arose, they would cower. In other words, they could be strong with words over the phone, but in person they didn’t have the guts to back up that talk. As silly as this term is, I think of it often because it applies to daily life.
How often do we talk about how we’re going to get in shape, work harder, spend more time with loved ones, or stop doing things that damage our lives only to make no changes whatsoever? We talk about what we’ll do, post about it on social media, and then quit quickly or never start at all. This is common. In my younger years, I never backed down from any physical confrontations but when it came to making an extra call, studying harder, or improving my behavior, I’d fail constantly then blame others. The best way to not be a “telephone tough guy” is to decide what matters most to you and then take constant action steps toward achieving those goals. In other words, don’t talk about it, be about it.
Something I believe. Unfortunately, we all encounter people and situations that we don’t like. We will often have things said or done to us that make us feel angry or hurt. To a degree, this is unavoidable, but I believe there is a caveat. If you go through a day or stretch of time and you encounter one person that makes you feel bad, they’re likely the problem. However, if you go through a period and every person and interaction is making you feel hurt or pissed, it’s you that is the problem.
When something happens frequently, it is a pattern. Therefore, there are actions that are leading to the creation of that pattern. If most of the interactions you have are negative and leave you riled up, frustrated, or angry then you are certainly behaving in a way that creates those outcomes. Personally, if I’m going through a day and finding myself annoyed at a lot of folks, I know it’s time for me to reset my mood and calm down. Use this test for yourself and remember, if everyone else seems to be the problem, it’s likely that you are the problem.
A good reminder. Last weekend, I received an award from the football league I coach in as “Coach of the Year.” I’m certainly not going to coach in the NFL, but it was an unexpected gesture that meant a lot to me. This made me recall when I won my first “Best Chiropractor” award a few years into my career. I was working as an associate doctor for my mentor at the time and when I found out I won, it took me a week to build up the courage to tell him. He was such a better doctor than me that it seemed like a mistake that I could receive the award over him (and others).
When I finally told him, I began to self-depreciate and make apologies about why I’d won, but he stopped me immediately. He told me he was proud and thrilled for me, then taught me to never apologize to anyone for being successful. There will always be those that see your accomplishments as lucky, undeserved, or premature. but it’s not your job to worry about them. Instead, focus on doing your best and when things go your way, take pride in that. The road to success is always one of ups and downs. Thus, when you encounter a high point or victory along the way, take a little time to appreciate and enjoy it; it’s an important part of the process.
Some quotes I Love.
“Don’t sweat the petty stuff or pet the sweaty stuff.” – Marcus Luttrell
“Practice like you’ve never won. Perform like you’ve never lost.”
“A lack of discipline is a man’s greatest enemy, steering him towards a path of ruin and regret.”