Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
A recent interaction. I have a longtime patient that works as a contractor. Recently, he was telling me about some work he’d done that really pleased his customer. They told him that the amazing job he’d done would have cost them $125,000 with anyone else but he did it for around $75,000. I made a joking remark that I bet he’d wish he’d charged more but he gave a response I really respected. He said, “No, I charged them fairly and did my best work. I’m happy with that and can sleep well at night knowing I did so.” This interaction reminded me of a crucial issue.
It is far more important to behave in a manner that honors our principles and values above all else. Shortcuts, cutting corners, attempting to fool others, deceptive tactics, etc. may work for a minute but are not maintainable. Worse, behavior such as that tends to cause stress and other issues because deep down, we know it’s wrong. The interaction I had with my patient was a great reminder that there is nothing worth sacrificing our honor or personal code of conduct for. Solid, moral behavior makes for sustainable success without any burden or guilt associated with it.
Something I recommend. “You can’t handle the truth!” is a famous line that most of us are familiar with. In my experience, however, I have found this to be true for most people. Many would rather you tell them what they’re doing is great or the excuses they’re making are justified rather than tell them truthfully that they could be doing better. This is because hearing an honest assessment of ourselves often bruises our ego while shattering the story we’ve been telling ourselves.
My belief is that it is vital to have people in our lives that we entrust to tell us the truth. These are people that we respect enough to tell us how things really are. They love and care for us enough to boldly (and hopefully kindly and calmly) tell us that we could do better/are capable of more. I have a handful of people in my life that I can go to knowing they will give me an honest assessment of my behavior, outlook, or approach to anything. Though those conversations can be challenging, it is vital to have these kinds of people in our lives. It is also important to behave like this towards the people that need us most as well. If you can’t handle the truth, start changing that immediately.
A great piece of advice. Hanging in my home gym is a sign that my oldest son decorated for me when I ran the Leadville 100 in 2019. He was 12 years old at that time, and he wrote several things that he felt might inspire me. One thing that I think of often is “don’t think, just run.” Though I’m not doing those kinds of races anymore, I feel that piece of advice translates perfectly into daily life.
As human beings, we love to complicate things. We have egos, insecurities, and feelings that muddle our path and cause us to get in our own way. This can prevent us from succeeding in health, fitness, business, relationships and more. This is why the best advice is sometimes just to do the simplest thing possible without involving emotion. In my race, it meant not worrying about how tired I was or how much further I had to go; I just needed to keep moving forward. In life, it could mean continuing to wake up early, showing up to workouts, eating healthy, studying, etc. When I feel overwhelmed and have a lot on my plate and mind, I like to remember, “don’t think, just run.” This reminds me to do whatever must be done and not worry about anything else at that moment.
Something I heard and loved. I was listening to a pastor on a podcast speaking about being a father. When the conversation turned to relating to children (in particular teens and young adults), he mentioned a tool that he uses to communicate better. Specifically, he said that rather than go to his children and ask them what’s going on in their lives, he asks “what are some of the issues that your friends are going through?” This line of questioning fosters a better insight into their world and begins a conversation that eventually turns back to them and any issues they may be facing. I thought this was excellent and tried it with one of my teenage sons.
Sure enough, asking my son about his friends got him talking about his buddies and what they are going through. Some of what he told me was trivial, other stuff more serious, but it reminded me that as adults, we often lose sight of what it’s like to be younger. Once we discussed his social circle, the conversation came back to how my son was feeling and that single talk really snowballed into him sharing much more information with me thereafter. This helped me appreciate his world and challenges in a greater way. Before someone cares what you know, they must know you care. This communication tool has helped me show this to my son in a simpler way and has allowed him to feel even more comfortable sharing his thoughts and feelings with me.
Some quotes I Love.
“Never be a prisoner of your past. It was just a lesson, not a life sentence.”
“The coward never starts, the weak never finish, and a warrior never quits.”
“Avoid those who refuse to own their mistakes, yet are quick to make you doubt yourself.”