Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something I heard and loved. This week I heard someone use the phrase “One foot disease.” This was explained as having one foot into something and the other out. In other words, not fully committed to the goal, activity, endeavor, etc. I appreciated this description because I have found it to be true.
“I was going to,” “almost,” “I thought about doing,” and “I think I should” are all examples of this one-foot disease. There are basic steps being taken but no resolve behind them. For that reason, once things get even the slightest bit challenging, it will tend to result in quitting or failure. My belief is that if you are going to attack any goal, you must be armed with the correct “why” and decide before you start that you will endure setbacks, criticism, and frustration yet keep going forward. Whatever it may be, be all in, not one foot in and one foot out.
Something I’ve learned. When you watch baseball, you might hear an announcer say a pitcher doesn’t have his “best stuff today” meaning he’s not as sharp or dominant as he could be. In contact sports like football, you may hear it said that someone is playing through an injury and not at 100%. As much as it stinks to have to compete at less than our best, there is immense value in doing so.
Rarely will everything go perfectly and allow us to perform with our maximum ability. More often, things will go wrong physically, mentally, financially, or in ways out of control. We will be forced to do the best we can with what we have. Though not ideal, we learn more about ourselves when we operate without our “best stuff.” Specifically, we find resolve, ingenuity, strength, courage, resourcefulness, and energy we didn’t know we had. These then become an effective substitute for God-given talent and ability. Best of all, it becomes easier to work this way going forward and we achieve far greater results than ability alone would provide.
Something that helps me. When I’ve faced difficult personal situations, I’ve often found it overwhelming and daunting to find the proper way to proceed. One thing that helps me in these times is simply deciding one outcome I absolutely refuse to allow to happen. That one ending becomes my Alamo and I will protect against it with my life. For example, after my first marriage ended, I had to re-start my career in a new state, with no money, and two young sons to raise. I remember moving myself into a crappy apartment with no furniture and telling myself that I may never amount to anything, but I refused to quit or complain even for a second as I started over. Many results were possible but any involving quitting or complaining I would not allow.
The interesting part of this way of thinking is that it allows me to face my greatest fears and worries early and head-on. Quitting, lack of effort, complaining, laziness, ignorance, and the like are what scare me most because they would negatively impact my self-esteem, so they are unacceptable. Once I eliminate my worst-case outcome, it makes planning an effective way forward easier and less stressful. If you are going through a dark time, choose how you refuse to lose, and it will make winning far easier.
An interesting interaction. Recently, a new patient came to my office and mentioned that he’d read dozens of my 5 Spots prior to his initial visit. He explained to me that he’d been curious to see if who I was online was the same person I was in real life (he was happy that I was). This was an example of what I like to call “not switching up.” In other words, remaining consistent in personality, behavior, viewpoint, etc. regardless of the company I’m in.
One of the most disappointing things is to encounter someone that pretends to be something they’re not. Sometimes this is to people-please, gain attention, seek acceptance, or attain something tangible. In my younger years, I had a habit of doing this myself and it always left me feeling like a coward. Now, I take pride in being my authentic self in every situation. Patients, family, kids I coach, people at church, and anyone else in my life would all give you the same picture of me. That does not mean everyone has to like me, but I’m fine with that so long as I’m known as authentic. Be true to who you are, you will feel far better about yourself.
Some quotes I Love.
“It is better to stand and fight. If you run, you’ll only die tired.” – a Viking saying
“Fear kills more people than death.” – George S. Patton
“Being willing is not enough. We must do.” – Leonardo Da Vinci
“The most important actions are never comfortable.” – Tim Ferriss
“The ability to concentrate and to use time well is everything.” – Lee Iacocca