Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
A recent interaction. I spoke to a couple of friends throughout the week who are going through tough times. After listening, I shared some of my own experiences in similar situations to offer advice and hope. One of my friends said to me after our talk, “You’ve been through some really challenging stuff but are still so positive. Did that make it easier for you to deal with things as they happened? What did you do to handle it so well?” In other words, they wanted to know what my secret sauce was for dealing with those brutal times in life.
In the movies, when a character makes a weighty decision, cool music and a montage play and you know everything will work out. As I told my friend, my experience is far different. All I do in hard situations is tell myself I won’t quit and that somehow, I’ll figure it out. It’s not cinematic, uplifting, or exciting. It’s merely a vow that I’ll keep going rather than giving in to whatever challenges are in front of me. The important thing to understand is this is how it goes for everyone. None of us are designed to handle problems any better than the next person. However, those of us that get “good” at overcoming are most often the ones that decide they’ll remain steadfast in finding solutions no matter what.
Something I believe. When it comes to getting ahead in anything – business, health, relationships, etc. most believe it takes special talents or skills. While those help of course, in my experience, it’s far more basic. I would say one of the best methods for excelling in any endeavor is staying attentive, meticulous, and consistent over the things that are boring but important.
Things like preparation, studying, planning, waking up early to exercise, eating well, and more are not exciting. In fact, they are repetitive and dull to most. However, those that stay committed to those areas always make greater progress than those that don’t. As humans it is easiest to seek what makes us happy, creates excitement, or brings pleasure. Unfortunately, doing so causes us to focus on our feelings rather than repeatable results. Most people quit far more often because things get boring than they do even when it’s hard. You can become great at anything simply by staying diligent in mastering and accomplishing the less-exciting things that matter.
A good reminder. Recently, I had the misfortune to witness a group of people I held in high regard prove themselves to be anything but that. Initially I gave them the benefit of the doubt, but it became shocking to see behavior that I’d never known they were capable of. My ability to read people and assess situations is strong and I began to beat myself up for not recognizing certain signs earlier. However, I ran across a quote I love that gave me comfort, “Some things will break your heart but fix your vision.”
Like many, I’ve suffered betrayal, humiliation, and/or wrongdoing at the hands of others. We allow ourselves to be most vulnerable to people we trust and sometimes those people abuse that and behave shamefully. That said, I feel it’s better to end up knowing the truth about people and situations even if it is painful. Rather than having a “poor me attitude” over such things, I like to think of it like God is choosing to protect me and place me on a different path. Sometimes the best gift we can receive is to be separated from people that we now know to be untrustworthy, unethical, or worse.
A great lesson. To obtain a chiropractic license after graduation, I had to take four national board examinations. Part 4 is an in-person, high pressure test where actors portray patients. Then, candidates must go from room to room displaying various medical and chiropractic competencies in front of an examiner. In one such room, I had to listen to a patient’s lungs and as I attempted to do so, I heard nothing. The end of the stethoscope had been turned so that it was set to listen only to an infant and not an adult’s breathing. Thankfully, I recognized this, flipped it around, and could hear the lungs. After I did that, the examiner smiled and as I left the room, she said “great job catching that, most of the others only went through the motions.” That memory has stayed with me for 20 years and provides an important lesson.
Doing something and doing something well/to a high standard are not the same. Merely going through the act may allow us to check a box and say we did it but will not produce solid results. It is crucial that the action steps for any activity are pursued with diligence and competence so that nothing is neglected or skipped. I’m glad I had that interaction in my board exam because it has served as a reminder to do everything to my highest standard possible.
Some quotes I Love.
“Only dead fish go with the flow.”
“The best way out is always through. – Robert Frost
“Nobody watches you harder than the people who doubted you. Give them a good show.”