Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
Big or Boo Hoo? Like everyone, I can get stressed or overwhelmed when a problem pops up. Sometimes I’ll catch myself overreacting knowing my response doesn’t match the size of the problem. When that happens, I ask myself a simple question: “Is this big or boo hoo?” The big stuff is usually obvious such as serious relationship, financial, health, or safety concerns. Obviously, these deserve our attention and energy.
However, not every inconvenience should be treated like a crisis. These are “boo hoos” and usually involve logistics, disagreements, changes in plans, not getting our way, or dealing with less-than-perfect circumstances. They may be frustrating and tend to stir our emotions, but we should remember that discomfort and disaster are not the same thing. Problems will always arise, but before giving one too much power, ask yourself, “Is this actually a big deal or just a boo hoo?”
What’s your credit score? Watch television for more than 20 minutes and you’ll probably see an ad about checking your credit score for free. It’s a reminder of how important that number can be for our financial health. Yet, I think there’s another score worth considering from time to time: our life credit score. Instead of focusing on debt and payment history, imagine it measuring things like honesty, integrity, how we treat people, keeping our word, and whether our behavior matches the principles we claim to have.
None of us will have perfect credit in these areas. We’ll make mistakes, handle situations poorly, and occasionally take a hit to our score. What matters, however, is the overall direction. Are our daily choices building trust, strengthening relationships, and reinforcing our character or slowly damaging them? Just like financial credit, a strong reputation and character are built through consistency over time. Take an honest look at your life credit score and ask yourself what you could do today to raise it.
What about tomorrow? One of my favorite sayings is, “Yesterday, you said tomorrow.” I love it because it captures something we have all done. When we’re motivated, we commit to making the change, having the conversation, starting the project, or tackling the responsibility we know matters. Then tomorrow arrives, the motivation has faded, and suddenly we find a reason to wait another day. We punt instead of pressing the action. The problem is that repeatedly postponing what we know we should do doesn’t make it easier, it usually makes the task feel bigger while slowly eroding our confidence in ourselves.
When I was younger, I tended to avoid difficult responsibilities, and the longer I waited, the worse I felt. I’d think about them constantly and hate myself for not dealing with them. Now, if something is important, I try to simply get moving even when it’s uncomfortable. I can’t relax or enjoy myself until I’ve done something about the issue, so I just get to it. Action has a way of shrinking problems that avoidance allows to grow. You don’t need to feel ready, excited, or motivated; you just need to honor the commitment you have already made. If yesterday you said tomorrow, make today the day you follow through.
Does the score stop you? Over the weekend, the football team I coach suffered our first loss in over a year. As I addressed the team after the game, I commended two players who were playing just as hard when the game was out of reach as they normally do when we’re winning. I told the team how valuable that trait is because your effort shouldn’t be dictated by whether things are going your way. It’s easy to work hard when things are clicking. The real test is what you do when the scoreboard isn’t showing what you’d like it to. This is a crucial principle in life far more than athletics.
I’ve had plenty of times in my own life when I’ve worked hard and still lost, struggled, or didn’t get the result I wanted. Those moments taught me that I can’t always control the outcome, but I can control whether I keep showing up and giving my best. Making excuses, blaming others, or quitting might feel easier, but none of those things move me forward. If I want to win in the long run, I must keep giving my best even when it feels like I’m losing. In life, there is never a time to stop striving, hustling, and giving all you can.
Some quotes I Love.
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” – Winston Churchill
“Effort is only effort when it begins to hurt.” – José Ortega y Gasset
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