On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something that occurred to me. Earlier this week I was speaking to someone about embarrassment. I explained to them that the majority of my most cringe-worthy moments in life shared some combination of being drunk, arrogant, lazy, filled with rage, insecure, or fear. When I was younger, those states would occupy me frequently and when I would encounter even a small issue, I would not be composed enough to manage it. Instead, I would resort to poor behavior, feel justified in my reaction, then regret what I’d said or done later. This caused pain to both me and those around me, I can assure you.
As I tired of feeling embarrassed, I began creating better standards for myself. Upholding better practices of behavior, conduct, and action began to positively change things. Though it did not make me immune from mistakes, it made me far less reactionary and allowed me to deal with people and problems more constructively. Now, I rarely feel embarrassed at my behavior but am honest with myself when I know I could have done better in a situation. If you spend considerable time embarrassed at your reactions, give thought to how you might evolve to set a higher standard for yourself.
A great reminder. I was standing with a friend recently at church when they encountered someone they’d known from their past. I excused myself so they could talk, and it seemed like a happy reunion from my vantage point. Later, my friend told me that the person had known them when they were at a low point in life. They had been struggling to get sober, making horrible decisions, and burning bridges along the way. However, just when things seemed like they were untenable, they dramatically turned around. In fact, their conversation was about how all the dreams my friend had ended up coming true, and how unlikely that seemed back in those days. This was a reminder of something amazing to me.
You are never out of the fight. If you are breathing, you can change your circumstances no matter how horrible they are or how unlikely this may seem. It is not going to be easy or happen overnight, but it can be done. With the right belief, motivation, commitment, and help, anything becomes possible. In fact, I have yet to read the biography of someone I admire that didn’t go through challenges only to come out better on the other side. If you or someone you love is going through a terrible time, I implore you to keep praying, hoping, and expecting positive change because it can happen for you like it did for my friend and millions of others.
An interesting interaction. I was speaking to a fellow chiropractor recently who is new to practice. He was explaining to me that he doesn’t allow people to walk-in for last minute appointments, doesn’t allow new patients to make same-day appointments, and other restrictions. I asked why and he explained it was because he didn’t want to appear “not busy.” I explained to him that my philosophy was exactly the opposite. Since my goal is to earn a living helping people, I am happy to accept business however and whenever it comes, regardless of how that is perceived. This brings up a key point.
Too often we become distracted from our goals by unimportant things such as what others think. This causes us to make poor decisions based on ego and creates a pattern where we begin to drift away from the attainment of our goals. Using the example from above, my friend was really worried about people thinking he was not busy. Ironically however, he wasn’t. Therefore, rather than worrying about potential perception, I advised him to start accepting all the business he could get whenever it was available. Paying his bills and building a patient base will be far more effective than worrying about what strangers may or may not be thinking. Remaining true to the steps that lead toward your goal is more effective than sidetracking yourself with what anyone else thinks.
Something I remembered. When I was about seventeen, I remember shoveling snow with my father one night. He told me how excited my parents were about all that they expected my sister to achieve in life. Then he went on to tell me that for me, “they hoped I would have a couple of kids and maybe coach little league.” This did not rank highly in the pantheon of motivational speeches I had ever received. I thought back to this after I coached my football team last Saturday.
I have coached young kids in football for the past 6 years. More times than I can count, parents have thanked me for providing confidence to their sons and I’ve received messages from players that mean more to me than I can express. When I was told to have kids and coach little league, it was meant as a consolation prize, low hanging fruit. However, I embrace being a father and a coach, and have excelled in both. My life may not be special to the world, but I am incredibly grateful to be able to help people, coach, and be a father. Too often, people feel if they aren’t famous or on the Supreme Court, that they’re nothing. My belief is that you can leave your mark in whatever path or method you choose if you apply yourself properly.
Some quotes I Love.
“All roads that lead to success have to pass through hard work Boulevard at some point.” – Eric Thomas
“It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.” —Herman Melville
“A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it is committing another mistake.” —Confucius Kongzi