Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
Something that helps me. Whether it involves my role as a husband, father, coach, doctor, friend, or any endeavor in which I am involved; I like to ask myself one simple question. “Am I leaving them/it better than when I found them?” This is another way of asking if I’ve done all I can to love, help, guide, uplift, and/or inspire them.
I find this question compelling for the soul searching it creates within me. It forces me to consider the actions I’ve already taken and whether they are appropriate or not. Second, it allows me an opportunity to correct any mistakes or modify an approach that may create better outcomes. Finally, it reminds me of how important my actions can be to those around me. That motivates me to do all I can to benefit their lives and situations. Regardless of who or what it may be, do your best to leave all things better than when you found them.
An analogy I like. Over the weekend I spent a few hours cutting down and trimming large branches that were hanging over our garden. I did this so that the correct sunlight could get through and allow our flowers and vegetables to grow properly. I always find it interesting that for the things you want to grow, they require healthy soil, proper sunlight, and adequate water. However, weeds will grow through concrete in shade with barely a teaspoon of water. This same premise applies to us as humans too.
When it comes to anything healthy or productive, it takes time and effort to maintain. We must eat the correct things, move our bodies, utilize the right processes, and remain consistent if we want our results to be great. Conversely, it takes no exertion to obtain poor results or maintain the status quo. We can ignore responsibilities, lower standards, decrease efforts, and become overly absorbed in our feelings and make low output a reality. Though it may not seem fair, we really must work hard to achieve remarkable things. Our lives are like gardens; they will require consistent and diligent work if they are to be fertile and productive.
A great reminder. This week, I went with my oldest son to his college orientation. When we were there, I recalled times from his childhood when he cried saying he never wanted to go to college because he didn’t want to leave me. My youngest children are six and four and also recently began saying the same things. The thought of going off to college scared them as if they would be asked to go at any minute. That all changed, however, once they saw pictures of my son at his orientation. Now, they excitedly talk about going to college and all the things they’ll bring and who should visit them, it’s hysterical (they don’t yet understand that it’s school). Both my son being about to start college and my younger children now being open to it, reminded me of important points.
First, everything and anything can be scary until you begin. Whether it’s college, a new job, or a huge goal; the unknown tends to terrify us. Once we get underway, however, that fear begins to slowly subside and we can find our way. Second, things become easier for us once we see/realize others have been able to achieve them previously. For example, a 4-minute mile was once thought to be impossible. However, once Roger Bannister achieved it, dozens of others followed suit within a couple of years and now high school and college runners regularly attain that once unheard-of goal. Regardless of what ambition you may be after, take comfort knowing someone has probably accomplished it before. Also, realize they were once just as scared to start as you are, so be bold and get after it.
Something I think of often. In high school, I was invited to play an all-star football game that took place during the summer. Some of the best players in the state were there and the two weeks of practice we had were extremely competitive. They also happened to take place during a sustained 100-degree heat wave on a dusty field, so the conditions were brutal. One thing I recall vividly is being able to predict when players far more talented than myself were about to fake some type of injury to sit out. For example, I remember looking into the eyes of one of the state’s best receivers, observing his body language, and knowing he was about to pretend to be hurt. Sure enough, he went down on the next play with a “hamstring injury” that bothered him up until the tough parts of practice were over. Though this all occurred decades ago, I think of it often and it provided me with a memorable lesson.
When things get difficult, our minds seek reasons to take us away from the pain and shelter us with comfort. This may sound useful, but it causes us to create excuses, magnify emotions, and find valid reasons to quit. There have been many times when I’ve been in long races or grim times in life where I’ve wanted nothing more than to give up. During some of those instances I’ve recalled that experience back in high school when guys with all the talent in the world wimped out and found a reason to avoid what the rest of us were able to endure. There are times when you may need to stop, adjust course, or modify an approach. However, refuse to give in to short-term emotions or discomfort and ignore the voice telling you that it’s ok to surrender.
Some quotes I Love.
“A man who tells the truth doesn’t mind being questioned. A liar does.”
“Real growth starts when you’re tired of your own sh**.”