Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
A great reminder. Recently I spoke to a friend of mine I’ve known for years. He is finishing seminary school and mentioned that he was asked to travel abroad and deliver four separate sermons to some large crowds. Though he is excited, he did tell me that he was feeling a great deal of doubt, and a slight bit of imposter syndrome. I told him to stop thinking like that and remarked that “they don’t let you on the field unless you can play.”
My meaning with that phrase was that we all take time to develop our skills through hours of learning and practice. Often, when we are finally called upon to use them in the way we intend, we still do not feel fully ready. This is completely natural, and I’ve experienced it in my career, business, athletics, and more. High level opportunities are not merely handed out, so if you’re offered one, it’s because you have earned it. Once you have the chance you’ve always wanted, it’s ok to be nervous but do not suddenly begin to doubt yourself and throw it away.
A premise I believe in. I remember being told by instructors in chiropractic school that when we got into practice, we would forget much of what we learned. They also told us that this wouldn’t matter because the areas and skills that we utilized daily would become refined and sharpened. In other words, what we prioritized would flourish and what we did not, would fade. Not only have I found this to be accurate in chiropractic, but it has also become one of the hallmarks of how I see my role as a father. For example, all my children love to exercise in some way because they see me do it so often.
Anything that I make a big deal of now, is likely to become important to my children. Therefore, I want them to see me as someone who works hard, has strong faith, exercises daily, eats well, loves his spouse, values financial stability, etc. The hope is that this will rub off and will grow even stronger within them throughout their lives. Similarly, the things I do not prioritize will decrease in importance to them. For that reason, I choose not to drink, have vices, curse too often (I still slip sometimes), bad mouth others, or be negative. My role as a father is to model through my behavior what is and is not important to my children. This premise helps keep me accountable and guides my actions.
A recent experience. I’m a very decisive person. If you hand me a menu, I’ll know my order within thirty seconds. Even with bigger issues, I quickly decide once I know my options. I like to tend to things immediately, and over time this has made me extremely deliberate in my actions. However, this week a friend asked me if I’d followed up on something I said I would weeks ago. I told them I had not, and they were shocked because it had been three weeks. The truth was that I didn’t forget, I just didn’t do it.
I bring this up to point out a flaw many of us share. Even as someone that gets to work instantly on whatever needs to be done, I have a weakness. If I wait to do what I know I should, an odd thing occurs. There is an inertia that builds up and I begin making excuses, putting it off, and taking something simple and making it needlessly complicated. For this reason, it is best to pull the trigger and act immediately on the things that are important to you. That could mean making a phone call, having a difficult conversation, beginning a project, or millions of other possibilities. If you care, do it as soon as you can, otherwise it will slip from your grasp and seem far more daunting with each passing day.
Something I follow. I am a believer in both commitment and conviction and feel both can work synergistically. Commitment is our decision to seek a lofty goal or higher standard. Conviction is how deeply we believe in that objective, how hard we are willing to push, and what we’ll sacrifice to honor it. In my experience, commitment becomes far stronger when combined with conviction.
Commitment usually is made with the best of intentions. We want to lose weight, get healthier, be a better person, become more successful, etc. Those promises can often stagnate or stop altogether when things become challenging, or hardships occur. However, if there is conviction attached to that commitment, the same is not likely to occur. Instead, setbacks and difficulties no longer matter. There is an unwillingness to give in that powers us toward the outcomes we desire regardless of what we must do to get there. When you make a commitment to something, I recommend really understanding why you are doing so. The deeper down you dig into your motivations, the more conviction you will have to succeed at any cost.
Some quotes I Love.
“Making a dream into a reality begins with what you have, not with what you are waiting on.” – T.F. Hodge
“Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be.” – Jack Welch