Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
What’s your reboot speed? We’ve all had to reboot a modem, computer, or other piece of equipment when something goes wrong. Sometimes it comes back online almost immediately; other times, it seems to take forever. I think people are similar. Life will occasionally knock us offline through disappointment, failure, loss, conflict, or unexpected circumstances. Though we can’t always control what happens, we can influence how quickly we begin moving forward. Thus, the question isn’t whether we’ll need to reboot, it’s how quickly we can get ourselves back up and running.
Complaining, blaming, and postponing action tend to keep us stuck. On the other hand, accepting reality, processing our emotions, and taking even small steps toward improvement greatly accelerate our recovery. Rebooting doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened or ignoring what we feel; it means refusing to remain down indefinitely. When life knocks you offline, ask yourself: “Am I doing things that help me reboot, or am I allowing myself to remain broken?” The goal isn’t to avoid setbacks, it’s to develop resilience to recover from them.
Are you sliding? Bad habits rarely take hold of us all at once. More commonly, they begin with small compromises that gradually lower the quality of our lives. I believe it’s crucial to look at three things to recognize when we’re heading in the wrong direction: time, commitment, and standards. Are we showing up later than we used to? Spending more time scrolling? Cutting things short or sleeping in? Are we missing commitments to people and things that should be a priority, bringing back habits we’d once eliminated, or choosing comfort over responsibility? If so, these small changes are early signs that we’re beginning to slide.
The same is true of our standards. When we stop caring as much about quality, cease looking for better ways to do things, or care less about the outcome, we’re moving backward. The good news is that recognizing the slide at least gives us an opportunity to halt it. Take an honest look at your time, commitment, and standards. If any of them have started slipping, do not wait for the problem to worsen. Making small corrections now will be far easier than making major changes later.
Make different mistakes. When I coach, I teach my players that mistakes are inevitable and expected. They give us opportunities to correct our technique, strategy, and approach. When we make an error, we can identify and address a weakness. This allows both the individual and the team to become stronger. I also remind my players that while mistakes will happen, we should be making different ones. Repeating the same error without learning from it isn’t experience; it’s simply repetition. Life works the same way.
We’re all going to encounter difficult situations, but if we keep getting the same poor outcomes, it’s a signal that something needs to change. This could be our mindset, our approach, our habits, or the way we’re responding to the problem. Admitting that we could handle something better isn’t weakness it’s the first step toward improvement. There is no shame in making mistakes and the goal isn’t to live without making any. Rather it is to learn from those we do make so that we don’t continue making the same ones
Something I’ve learned. We’ve all heard the phrase, “The cover-up is worse than the crime.” While the original mistake may be bad, trying to hide it, deny it, or avoid responsibility often makes the situation far worse. I’ve found this applies to everyday life as well. When we make a significant mistake in how we perform, treat someone, or conduct ourselves, we have a choice: we can either make it right or make it worse.
Making it right means admitting fault, accepting the consequences, and doing whatever we reasonably can to make amends. Making it worse usually involves excuses, lies, or blaming other people or circumstances; all of which can add another layer of hurt and destroy trust. Most people are far more willing to forgive an honest mistake when the person responsible owns it and genuinely tries to correct it. The next time you screw something up, resist the urge to protect your pride and react poorly. Own it, fix what you can, and move forward. Your mistake may not be ideal, but your response can strengthen it.
Some quotes I Love.
“I hope none of us are judged by our actions in our weakest moments but rather by the strength we show in our second chances.” – Ted Lasso
“The truth will set you free. But at first, it will piss you off.”
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