Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
Something that helps me. When I encounter any problem or obstacle, I like to tell myself I can choose one of two W’s – warrior or wimp. My saying is that warriors will work harder to win while wimps just whine and wish they could. There are different ways a person could phrase this, but the point is that a choice must be made.
This decision is whether you will press forward and do whatever is necessary to succeed or you’ll invest that time and energy into making excuses for why you’ll fail. Opting to be the “warrior” does not guarantee you will accomplish all that you want. However, it puts you in a position where it becomes possible and even if you fail, you will learn and come back stronger. Conversely, being the “wimp” makes it almost certain you won’t end up completing any of the goals you set. Next time you face adversity, ask yourself if you want to be a warrior or a wimp.
A great reminder. My wife and I enjoy watching a show where “celebrities” are put through aspects of Special Forces/Operations training by instructors that served. In the newest season, there was a woman that talked about how she came on the show after getting out of a troubled relationship. She also mentioned that her ex told her she’d quit early, and she was there to prove him wrong. As it turns out, she did one challenge, got tired on a run, and then voluntarily quit after less than half a day. This reminded me of two important lessons.
First, motivation is great but doesn’t solve issues or create great outcomes. Before I ran the Leadville 100, the race director asked all of us if we were really motivated and we said yes. He replied, “that’s great, that should get you to the first aid station and from there it’ll take grit and will to get things done.” Motivation will fade and that’s when discipline, determination, and other factors must take over. Second, nothing feels worse than quitting on yourself. We often let short-term feelings cloud our vision as we make a poor long-term decision we then must live with. Any outcome is always preferrable to panicking and giving up.
Something I believe. There’s a scene in one of the Rocky movies where Mick tells Rocky, “The problem is you got civilized.” In other words, when he had nothing and nothing to lose, he was hungrier than when he had everything. I believe this premise to be true because we live in a world that offers so much comfort that it’s easy to slip into complacency. Does that mean we should all root for financial ruin, heartbreak, and tougher times? Of course not. However, I believe that while we are striving to create better times and circumstances for ourselves and our families, it’s vital to still make ourselves a bit uncomfortable.
The simplest method for keeping yourself from becoming someone that loses passion, and drive is to challenge yourself. You want to regularly place things in your own path that scare you but which you can work to overcome. It is important to note that this does not mean self-sabotaging or procrastinating. Instead, it could mean signing up for a race or public speaking event, having a tough and overdue conversation with someone, striving toward a lofty goal, and so many more. The key is to create a situation that makes you ask, “can I even do this?” and then forces you to get gritty, focused, and intense enough to make it happen. I’ve done this successfully for over a decade and I can tell you how powerful it is. First, because it allows you to enjoy your comforts more while producing a general desire that cascades throughout your life. Second, because when things out of your control suddenly make your life more challenging, you will be better trained to deal with them.
A strategy I follow. Years ago, I had a patient who was a realtor that would talk to me often about becoming his client. He was a nice guy and experienced in his field, so I certainly wasn’t opposed to it. He had an uncommon insurance plan used in our office and at one point, he asked if he should be paying less for his visits. We said we’d make a call, figure it out, and refund him if necessary. Though he was a long-time patient, he became very emotional and angry about this, and we ended up needing to refund him a few bucks per visit for months’ worth of adjustments and massages which came to maybe $60. It was a simple issue that took minutes to correct but seeing his behavior changed my viewpoint of him professionally. I would never be able to trust him in a real estate transaction for hundreds of thousands of dollars because he lost his head over a few bucks and a simple issue in my office. There is an important lesson here.
When someone is incapable of controlling their emotions and behavior in small circumstances, it sends a message to those around them. Unfortunately, it says to others that when things get challenging, they are likely to implode, blame others, and seek excuses rather than solutions. This is why being stable is one of the best qualities a person can possess. A person that keeps their principles, behavior, and processes intact even amongst difficult circumstances is valuable. They can be trusted and relied upon to treat people well, find solutions to problems, and lead even when situations become difficult. Give thought to whether your actions present you as someone who is stable or not.
Some quotes I Love.
“Embarrassment is the cost of entry. If you aren’t willing to look like a foolish beginner, you’ll never become a grateful master.”
“A healed man leads better, lives better, and loves better.” – Jack A. Daniels