Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
A great reminder. The central air conditioning I inherited when I bought my home is older and has never worked well. A year ago, an HVAC tech came out to fix a problem we had with it. He spent 20 minutes doing extraordinarily little, told me it wouldn’t last the week and to buy a new system from them. Last Thursday, it stopped working altogether and I assumed based on that information there’d be no other choice than to replace it. However, a friend of a friend came out to evaluate it for me. He spent time showing me how to clean and service it properly, repaired a few minor parts, and it is now running perfectly. As a chiropractor, these experiences reminded me of some basic principles that apply to health.
Your body is an amazing, powerful machine capable of incredible things when cared for properly and consistently. However, people often do not do so and then blame age, genetics, bad luck, etc. for the results. They sacrifice energy, longevity, happiness, and comfort. Then, they seek out new drugs, surgeries, or miracle cures to make up for the neglect. Caring for your body and mind will bless you in far more ways and for longer than you thought possible. Whether it’s an AC unit or your body, everything runs better when it is properly cared for and maintained consistently.
Something I’ve learned. This Saturday would have been my sister’s 46th birthday. She died tragically 2 years ago, and she and I were always remarkably close. I am a high energy, positive, mentally, and physically tough individual; yet still struggle with the effects of grief. In fact, after an enjoyable day at work on Monday, I felt as if darkness came over me out of nowhere that night and I could barely keep from crying for 24 hours thinking about my sister. Her death came two years after my brother-in-law also died, so I’d like to share three things I’ve learned about grief.
First, you can’t hide from it because it will always find you. I ran 100-mile races, marathons, and everything else to deal with the passing of two loved ones and it helped. However, eventually I just had to sit, think, and process my feelings over time which was much harder. Second, when the waves of sadness hit me, I just let them come. I’ll cry, listen to certain songs, or do whatever necessary to get those emotions out and feel better. Finally, I’ve learned it’s ok when I’m not sad. When we lose those we love and find the strength to go on, sometimes we feel guilty. This is unnecessary because love isn’t measured in sadness, and you needn’t live a life of constant mourning. Grief is tough but you do learn to manage it.
Something I believe. For me, effort is an enormous thing. I can judge a great deal simply by evaluating the exertion that someone puts toward something. There are those that consistently give little or no effort and the results are terrible. This is laziness and needs no explanation. However, there are other aspects of effort I feel are worth discussing.
First, effort shows what you are capable of. For example, if you focus and exert yourself at work and succeed but then sit around and coast at home, that isn’t good. It is the equivalent of saying that though you possess the ability to be great, you only care enough to do it in certain places or conditions. Second, effort with people and things we enjoy will come easily and won’t be a challenge. However, more stressful, or complicated areas of our lives will require more motivation and drive to get results. Finally, I believe effort reflects self. Personally, if I care enough to be involved in something, I want to give it all I have. I would take it as an insult to my character if people were to see me as someone that wasn’t trying my best. How you do anything is how you do everything, so make sure you give it all you have.
An analogy I like. When it comes to changing our lives, things can happen like a sports car or a cargo ship. A sports car can maneuver on a dime and change course rapidly. Poor decisions tend to work like this. You can drive drunk, have an affair, step off a ladder, or millions of other things and change in seconds what you spent years creating.
Cargo ships on the other hand are slow to turn and take time to alter course. This is how positive changes are often made as well, in stages over a longer period. Eating healthy, exercising regularly, limiting alcohol, overcoming vices, and more are all examples. These things are not flashy but will turn you in a better direction when given enough time. Though it isn’t fair that positive changes happen gradually, and negative changes can sometimes happen quickly, it’s important to understand this concept. Be the cargo ship and start taking small, consistent steps on a better path.
Some quotes I Love.
“Finding opportunity is a matter of believing it’s there.” – Barbara Corcoran
“The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.” – Vince Lombardi
“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.” – Jim Rohn