Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
An important concept. We have all been around people that complain about the things repeatedly, in the same way, time and time again. Bad breaks, perceived unfairness, hurt feelings, and more are all explained ad nauseum to account for why things aren’t turning out the way they’d like. I hear this sort of thing from people constantly and am guilty of doing this often in life, especially in my younger years. There are two things that are important to understand about this behavior.
First, no one cares about your excuses. This is harsh but I promise you is accurate. People have far too many of their own issues to spend large amounts of time listening to a blow-by-blow account of why you’re not successful and happy. They love you, but they don’t care about hearing that stuff on repeat. Second, if you really wanted to change your circumstances, you’d do something about it. More so than words ever could, action is the best way to achieve a more positive outcome. Without that effort, it will be obvious to anyone that you care more about complaining about the problem than solving it. As the saying goes, “No one cares, work harder.”
Something I believe. “I don’t care what people think” is a saying we hear often. Ironically, most of the time it is spoken by those that care very much about what others think. On the other hand, should we be totally oblivious and give no regard to how we are seen by others? I have given this a great deal of thought over the years and have come to believe in a balance.
When it comes to my wife, children, those I coach, Jordyn who I work with, and my closest friends; I care very much what they think. They are around me the most and will hear my words, see my actions, and observe my attitude with the most significant times and issues within mine and their lives. If they don’t think well of me, I would likely be doing something wrong. However, do I care in this same manner when it comes to strangers, people I speak to briefly, etc? Of course not, they can like or dislike me because of how I speak, look, dress, profession, or anything else and I won’t care. They don’t know enough about me to offer an accurate opinion, and I wouldn’t know enough about them to care. Thus, I believe it’s ok to care what people think of you, so long as it’s the right people and in ways that matter such as your character, loyalty, love, and more.
Something that helps me. The majority of people in my life would likely tell you that I’m nice, fun to be around, and positive. However, many of those same people would also probably tell you about my intensity, and that I’m not someone you would want to have to deal with if you were to confront me or those I love. To many, these things may be completely opposed, however I believe they come hand and hand. My goal in life is to be a threat in everything I do.
When you are a “threat”, you are someone that should be taken seriously because of your capabilities. I work tirelessly to become a threat in my mental and physical strength, business acumen, ability to care for my loved ones, work ethic, and more. I want to become as capable of maximizing my abilities as possible to serve myself and those around me best. To hear this, it may sound as though I live in a dark world of anger and rage. However, as I exert myself in those areas, it has the amazing side effect of calming me and giving me greater confidence. I prepare myself for war so that I can enjoy the peace of all the wonderful people and things in my life. Making yourself a threat prepares you for the difficulties of life while simultaneously enriching the quality of almost everything within it.
Something I’ve learned in my training. I’ve been asked hundreds of times how I train to run 100-mile races or some of the other endurance events I’ve completed. The simple answer is that you need to experience a lot of time on your feet and get your body used to the pounding it will take, but personally I feel it’s much more than that. My belief is that within each training exercise there is a lesson to be learned.
For example, when I would wake up at 3am or leave at 11pm to train, the run was important but my mind and body learning to move when tired was even more so. Running in the cold or heat, continuing for even another minute without stopping while exhausted, maintaining a challenging pace up a hill, or any number of other methods helped teach my body and mind lessons that became valuable when I was under duress. This same premise works in life too. Early mornings, late nights, tough work projects, logistical challenges, difficult circumstances, and many other things teach lessons that make us stronger and more capable in the race of life.
Some quotes I Love.
“It would be nice if you could do something for a fucking change.” – Jordyn Eppard
“My hope is that when I die, all Hell rejoices that I’m out of the fight.” – C.S. Lewis
“One of the greatest problems of our time is that many are schooled but few are educated.” – Thomas More