Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
A premise I believe in. As a parent of four kids, I’ve been around often when they’ve gotten hurt. Collisions, falls, sports injuries, and more are bound to occur eventually and can be scary. One thing I always notice is that if a parent panics or freaks out when this happens, so too will the child. However, if the adult is calm, maintains an even tone, and reassures the kiddo that they’ll be fine; they believe it and begin to settle down. The words spoken to them will either begin to help or worsen them. This works in other areas as well.
A person that speaks about themselves negatively or is surrounded by people that do, sets a table for failure and frustration. For example, any public speaker that begins by telling you how nervous they are is likely to bomb. However, if you forget the negativity and speak positive words about yourself and others, you will be amazed at what can happen. I could tell you story upon story where I or someone I love has overcome injuries, hardships, anxieties, and more simply by speaking optimistic and powerful words. If you are in a tough spot, speak to yourself or others as you would an injured child you want to comfort.
A good practice. As imperfect human beings, we will make mistakes. Some are minor and can be forgotten easily. Others will create guilt, shame, regret, and more as a result. These feelings can be debilitating, tough to shed, and negatively impact the quality of our lives. In addition, these things can be so controlling that we often feel powerless to move past them. There are numerous ways to deal with such things, but I have found honesty to be a crucial first step.
I have things in my past that I dragged around like an anchor for years. Finally, I learned to simply admit in vivid detail how I’d messed up. Some of this I confessed to myself, and other times to someone specific. There was no sugar-coating, only brutal honesty over what I’d done and why I’d wished I hadn’t. That simple truthfulness began the process of breaking a chain that had held me back. From there, I was able to progress even further through other methods and forgive myself for my errors. It can be challenging to leave our past behind, but beginning with brutal honesty and personal accountability is a perfect place to start.
Something I’ve learned. I’ve suffered quite a bit at times in my personal life, business, endurance races, financially, etc. When the tough times roll in, there is an innate tendency for us to feel sorry for ourselves, think how much better others have it, or believe if we had better opportunities/assets to work with; we’d be fine. Personally, I used to do that often and never found it helped. What I now do instead is simply take stock of what I have and begin using that.
When I went broke years ago, I began relying on grit and creativity I didn’t know I had, and it helped me become a better father and businessman. In my last 100-mile race I got injured with 80 miles still to go and had to limp for over 12 hours just to finish because it was my only option. In both examples, I chose to ignore the bad things about the situation and focused on what was available to me. I feel that if I can still walk, talk, and think, I’ll be a force to be reckoned with no matter what comes my way. This mindset has made someone very average like myself, into something much stronger than I ever thought I’d be. Trust me, it will work the same for you if you follow it.
Something that inspired me. My church has been doing a 21 days of Prayer event, so I’ve been arriving there at 6:30 am most mornings to pray for other people and their struggles. Though it doesn’t happen often, I came there one day this week feeling overwhelmed and not myself for a variety of reasons. As I walked around going through the motions, a young boy came up to me and asked if he could pray for me. I told him yes and he then proceeded to say amazing things that really touched my heart. Once he finished, I asked if I could pray for him, and he requested blessings for success in his upcoming school year.
That little boy is from a place in Africa that lacked basic medical care, and he lost one of his arms as a result. He does not get down about it and chooses instead to walk around being happy and seeking to uplift others. Normally, that is how I choose to behave as well but he happened to catch me on a day when I was not my usual self. However, his kindness brought me back around and recharged my spirit. Sometimes a kind word or gesture from someone you least expect is enough to take you away from your own troubles and start feeling grateful once again.
Some quotes I Love.
“Always do more than is required of you.” – George S. Patton
“You experience the pain of preparation or the pain of failure. It’s pain either way. You have to decide if you want pain at the beginning or pain at the end.” – Bill Belichick
“The calmer you are, the clearer you think. Move with strategy, not with emotions.”