Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something important and difficult. Have you ever set your sights on a goal and been determined to get there? Whether it was financial, weight loss, or anything else, you went after it with dedication and enthusiasm expecting things to go your way, except they didn’t. One of the most defeating things in the world is when you do all the right stuff and get the wrong result. The bank account doesn’t go up, scale doesn’t go down, and/or your level of progress seems to head south.
If this has not happened to you yet, it will. When it does, you will have two choices. First, you can feel sorry for yourself, give up, and say you tried but it wasn’t meant to be. Or you can do what winners do and show up after losses with continued discipline, commitment, and enthusiasm. If you can find the strength to do so regardless of how many times it requires, you will eventually find success in some form or fashion. The next time you expect success and don’t achieve it, it’s ok to get mad. However, make sure you keep showing up and giving all you have because it will pay dividends eventually.
Something I heard and loved. This week I listened to someone talk about visualization. His comment was that people will commonly tell you to think 5, 10, or 20 years into the future and imagine all the wonderful things you’ll have and experience. He found no fault in this but suggested a more effective exercise. His advice was to imagine yourself in those same periods but with the same habits, lifestyle, and actions that you practice today. Is the path you are currently on likely to make things better or worse for you if they continue?
The point is, you have the power to change what is ahead of you, but that process starts today. Laziness, lack of discipline, poor diet, no exercise, not being honest with oneself, and pursuit of pleasurable distractions will not create great future outcomes. If you are on this path, you can and should begin altering it immediately. All forms of self-improvement pursued in the short term will only blossom in the long term if continued. Though it may not seem so today, you are capable of an amazing future if you utilize the proper mindset and tactics now.
A recent experience. Someone I care for was recently going through a tough time. This is a person I would consider strong, successful, kind, and a great family man. You would be unlikely to hear this person complain or outwardly detect anything was wrong. As I spoke with him however, I realized that he was struggling. This surprised me so I tried to find out why. As it turns out, this person was not dealing with anything new or all that unique.
Instead, there were many things being thrown at him at once. As those issues accumulated, he began to doubt himself based on past failures. Rather than recalling times when he overcame difficulties, he succumbed to negative self-talk based upon past mistakes and traumas of the past. This can shatter confidence, impair decision-making, reduce self-worth, create loneliness, and lead to feelings of isolation. The way we got him back on track was by reminding him of what he had to be grateful for and the progress he’d made that he hadn’t realized. This shifted his mindset back to one of positivity and solution-seeking. Even the strongest among us can become weakened by thinking too long about our failures and mistakes. Don’t dwell too much on the past, you’re not going back there.
A lesson I apply in life. I have competed in extremely challenging and grueling races over the years. I’ve endured pain, hypothermia, exhaustion, hallucinations, etc. Honestly, I cannot recall a single race where I was smiling or feeling great at the conclusion. Through these experiences, I have come to believe the only way to finish a competition is either crying, dying or both. This is my way of describing the ultimate effort where you give every bit of physical and mental energy to a goal, even if it strips you raw in the process.
Most of us give effort to our business, relationships, health, faith, and more. However, it’s often done to check a box that says we tried rather than an exertion of our full will. When you get to a point where you must achieve something rather than just hope to, you exert yourself differently. You find mental and physical reserves that are enormous, that you never knew existed. Apply the “crying or dying” principle to any goal you have, and you will find success.
Some quotes I Love.
“Don’t believe everything you think.” – Jenny Bogart
“The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.” – Harry Golden
“Put all excuses aside and remember this: YOU are capable.” – Zig Ziglar