Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
Something I liked. I clicked onto an Instagram reel this week where two people were conversing about how frustrating it can be when you’ve prayed, hoped, and wanted something to occur but it hasn’t yet. One of the people made the remark that while this is something we all go through, there is a way to handle it that most never consider. Rather than worrying about what we are waiting for, we should be worrying about how we’re waiting. This really resonated with me.
Goals and achievement are not attained instantaneously whether it be finding an amazing spouse, building a successful business, gaining better physical health, or anything else. Rather than becoming negative that these things have not occurred in the timeframe we’d hoped, we have the choice to become proactive. This involves staying faithful, focusing on incremental improvements, working to become better versions of ourselves, and more. Not only does this make our “waiting” easier but it actively draws us closer to our goal while preparing us to be more ready and worthy once we get there. Rather than getting angry and frustrated that you haven’t reached your destination, allow yourself to appreciate who you can become on the journey to arrive there.
Something I believe. I went to a football game over the weekend to support a friend of mine who is a coach as well as his son who is eight. The team is comprised of all boys that age, many of whom are new to tackle football. Their opponents were far more experienced and jumped out to a couple touchdown lead. As a coach myself, I can tell you that if you are going to lose your cool, this is often when it occurs. However, I am happy to say that my friend and his fellow coaches remained patient and focused on helping their young players. They still ended up losing but it turned into a highly competitive game, and they looked like a different team at the end. There is a critical lesson within this story.
How leaders react to stress defines whether those around them can trust and rely upon them or not. On Saturday, the players were confused and scared at first and it wasn’t going well. Had the coaches started yelling more and getting angry, they would have felt abandoned and shut down. Worse, they would have been taught the lesson that their leaders only support them if/when things go well. In stressful situations, true leadership is not about having the loudest voice. Rather, it entails rallying those around them by calming them, re-focusing them, and getting them back on the intended track.
A recent experience. When I returned to my office after the weekend, we had a computer and internet issue. As a result, we became unable to see our schedule, add appointments, run charges, verify insurances, etc. Our office is particularly busy coming off long weekends, so this was not only a tough situation but even worse timing as well. After being frustrated initially, I shifted my focus from what we couldn’t do toward what we could. Thus, I called our computer tech and had him come out as soon as possible, and in the meantime, I could still adjust patients while Jordyn kept track of everything on paper so we could catch up later. We couldn’t do everything but still kept things running.
Often in life, we direct our energy towards what we do not possess, resources we do not have, or breaks that haven’t gone our way. This creates even greater drawbacks as we place our energy into complaining rather than solutions. A better practice is to ignore what is not available to us and figure out what is. It may take more effort, require more time, or be increasingly difficult, but that doesn’t matter. The point is that we have placed our energy into a path forward rather than losing even more time with inaction and excuses. Start worrying less about what you do not have at your disposal in favor of highlighting what you do.
Something I think of often. When I played college football, I was part of some amazing teams. At one point, we had the longest winning streak in the country, and it was fun to be a part of. Our head coach was a fiery, old coach who used to tell us all the time, “you’re not that good.” He had a way of drawing out each syllable in a manner that I still hear to this day. The reason that phrase has stuck with me (and other players I’m sure) is not because he was trying to be mean but what he was trying to reinforce to us.
When things are going well there is a tendency to become complacent and believe success will always find you no matter what. This mindset is dangerous because over time it decreases effort, focus, and teamwork. What my coach was trying to tell us all those times was not to forget what got us there and I use this as a personal reminder to this day. Prioritizing daily workouts, eating well, placing time and energy into being a great husband and father, focusing on my business, and more are examples of things I do that got me where I am. I have never been super talented or the best at anything, but I’ve become successful by being someone that never quits, slows down, or gives weak effort. I feel it’s helpful for us all to be reminded that we’re “not that good” from time to time so that we stay focused and hungry.
Some quotes I Love.
“Discipline looks boring until you see what it builds.”
“You may not be able to control every situation and its outcome, but you can control your attitude and how you deal with it.”
“Your spouse is your life’s co-founder. They’ll either invest in your dreams or bankrupt your confidence. Choose wisely.” – Leila Hormozi