On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something I’ve learned in my career. I went to see a friend speak at a chiropractic seminar last weekend. After he spoke, I walked through a public area that had all sorts of vendors promoting new techniques, exciting gadgets, and more. When I was beginning my career, I would see such things and think that was what I needed to become successful. It’s not to say that some of these things can’t be effective, however nineteen years into my career I now have a far different outlook.
My goal is to stay in my lane, master the basics, and excel at what I do. I would prefer to be known as a chiropractor that is excellent at adjusting, interacting, and helping his patients rather than a guy that offers a lot but isn’t great at anything. This viewpoint was difficult to accept years ago because I didn’t yet fully believe in myself. However, as I began to see more patients, it occurred to me that they weren’t staying with me because I was doing or saying anything fancy, it was because I listened and was effective in administering the proper adjustments and care to help them. New and shiny things can be cool, but don’t forgo the skills and gifts that make you unique to pursue them.
A recent reminder. I coach my six-year-old son (and four-year old daughter) in flag football currently. We were mistakenly placed into a league with all 8-year-olds, so my squad looks like babies compared to our competition. Recently, my son had his best play ever where he made some great moves and scored a long touchdown. Later when I asked him about it, he told me, “I was really scared of those big guys, but I just ran fast and started singing ‘We will rock you’.” I found that hilarious, but it also has more merit than you might think.
Cortical distraction is when you find yourself under stress/duress but focus your mind (even briefly) on something else to alleviate the tension. In this example, my son’s mind centered on his singing rather than his fear of getting knocked around by bigger kids. This simple concept is incredibly effective because when we are overly stressed or scared, we tend to trip all over ourselves and hyper-focus on what can go wrong. However, if we take even a few seconds to distract our minds, we can react and perform better in the moment. When I feel the tension in a situation rising, I always think of my wife and/or children which always re-focuses and relaxes me, allowing me to be more effective in whatever I’m doing
Advice I give often. For many of us, when we have too much time to think, we get off track. We imagine scenarios that are unrealistic, become worried about how others are thinking about us, create drama where there is none, and the like. In other words, we go from peace time to war time in our minds with little to no justification. The advice I often give (and try to follow) is to not chase shadows.
My meaning here is to not allow your mind to spin out of control by worrying about a million things that have not happened or for which you’d have no control anyway. Instead, I recommend keeping a positive outlook and dealing only with things you can manage. If you have a real issue with someone or something, deal with it directly. If not, don’t manufacture a dire situation where one does not exist. When I find myself starting to worry or get upset, I like to consider whether if what concerns me is something to fixate on and worth my energy or whether I’m just “chasing shadows.” If it’s the latter, I let it go and move on to something important.
A lesson I learned. Early in my career, my chiropractic mentor would have me give health talks to help create business for our practice. At that time, I was deathly afraid to speak publicly and hated doing them. I recall one time after giving a talk, he asked me how it went I told him that it went amazing and lots of people told me they were interested. He smiled and told me, “When people tell you they’re interested, it means you bombed.” That was a gut punch, but I came to find out that it was correct. Furthermore, it has applications to daily life.
When you are interested in something it means you see merit or potential in it but are not called or motivated enough to act. Consider how many are “interested” in getting in shape, eating better, making more money, or becoming a better version of themselves. They want it, but not enough to pursue steps to get there. Interest in anything comes cheap, however it will take the cost of commitment to achieve something worthwhile. Just as my mentor told me years ago, saying you’re interested in something is only a way of saying you like it but not enough to pursue it.
Some quotes I Love.
“Action will delineate and define you.” – Thomas Jefferson
“When a mother tells her daughter she’s beautiful, it’s a compliment. But when her father tells her, it becomes her identity.”
“Don’t be afraid to give up the good for the great.” – Steve Prefontaine
“60% of the time, it works every time” – Brian Fantana, Anchorman