Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
Something I heard and liked. This week I heard someone describe what he called the “spill test.” He explained that if a person is carrying a full cup and suddenly bumps into someone or something, whatever is inside that cup is what spills out. The same principle applies to us. When life unexpectedly “bumps” into us through stress, conflict, disappointment, or frustration, what is already inside of us is often what comes pouring out. In those moments, our reactions reveal far more about our character and mindset than our intentions ever could. I think it’s a powerful reminder that our daily thoughts and habits are quietly preparing us for how we’ll respond when life becomes difficult.
I’ve found that my reactions are often a valuable form of feedback. When I respond with patience, kindness, empathy, and self-control, it’s usually a sign that my priorities and mindset are where they should be. On the other hand, if I find myself becoming easily irritated, angry, impatient, or negative, it’s often an indication that there are things I need to address beneath the surface. Rather than simply trying to control our reactions in the moment, we should focus on improving what fills us each day. When we consistently cultivate gratitude, discipline, and humility those become the qualities most likely to spill out when life inevitably bumps into us.
An important piece of advice. Like everyone else, I have moments in my life I’d rather forget. Some bring sadness, others regret, and a few still make me cringe when I think about them. For most empathetic people, memories like these can quickly pull us into a negative mindset if we aren’t careful. They have a way of making us dwell on who we used to be instead of recognizing who we’ve become. That’s why I often remind myself of a simple phrase, “Don’t dig into the archives.” To me, it means refusing to spend precious time reliving mistakes that can no longer be changed. Reflection has value, but repeatedly revisiting old failures rarely moves us forward.
If there is a past mistake you can still make right, then do so. Apologize, make amends, or take whatever action is appropriate. However, for the chapters that are permanently written, the healthiest path is to accept them, learn from them, and keep moving. Carrying guilt forever doesn’t honor the past, it only steals from who you are in the present. Much like a book, you don’t have to keep rereading the worst chapters of your story. You are free to turn the page and begin writing a better one. The goal isn’t to pretend you never made mistakes; it’s to become someone who learned from them. Honor yourself and those around you by allowing your past to teach you, not define you.
Something I believe. As someone who constantly emphasizes maximum effort and intensity, I can also tell you that no one operates at 100% all the time. There will be days when you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, distracted, or carrying burdens that no one else can see. Too often, people believe that if they can’t give their very best, it’s not worth trying at all. Unfortunately, that mindset can quickly snowball into days, weeks, or even years of inaction and declining standards. That’s why it’s so important to remember that being consistent matters more than being perfect.
Some days, simply showing up and doing the best you can is a tremendous victory. Going to the gym after an exhausting day, showing up for work while dealing with personal struggles, or treating others with patience when you’re hurting inside all require quiet strength. Life doesn’t have to be all or nothing. On your best days, give your A+ effort and on your hardest days, be proud of your C+ effort if that’s honestly all you have to give. Continuing to move forward, even at a slower pace, keeps momentum alive and preserves the habits that ultimately determine your success. Looking back, you’ll often be most proud of the days you kept going and did your best when it seemed almost impossible to do so.
Something I follow. One of my favorite quotes from legendary football coach Bill Parcells is, “You are what your record says you are.” In sports, you might believe you’re an outstanding team, but if your record is 5–5, the results say you’re average. I appreciate this quote because it cuts through emotion, opinions, and excuses and forces us to deal with reality. While confidence and optimism are important, they should never replace honest self-evaluation. The scoreboard doesn’t exist to discourage us but rather to tell us the truth about where we currently stand. The same principle applies to life.
Taking a candid look at our health, relationships, finances, career, or personal habits can actually be liberating because it gives us a clear starting point for improvement. If the results are good, stay humble and continue what has produced them. If they’re not where you’d like them to be, don’t waste time making excuses or criticizing yourself. Instead, acknowledge reality, adjust, and keep moving forward. Your current “record” is not your permanent identity; it’s simply a snapshot of where you are today. With consistent effort, better habits, and a willingness to learn, you can always begin climbing the standings tomorrow.
Some quotes I Love.
“You already know what to do, you’re just negotiating with comfort.”
“Crazy how people feel insecure about their looks, but not their characters.”