Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
An important event. As a freshman in high school, I remember trying out for the basketball team. The coach was trying to see who genuinely wanted to be there and ran us up and down the court for what seemed like forever. I’d never been challenged like that before and I remember staring at the exit and feeling like I desperately wanted to quit and leave. Thankfully, I did not and went on to make the team and play all four years. As odd as it may sound, I consider that first day of basketball tryouts to be one of the most significant moments in my life.
Had I quit that day, I would have taken the first step in teaching my teenage self to quit. My mind would have absorbed the lesson that when it gets tough, we bail. The version of me that became able to absorb the pain of 100-mile runs, endure tragic deaths of friends/family members, or overcome unforeseen major life events may have ceased to exist. Quitting on yourself will get into your bones and sadly make doing so easier each time. If you are striving for a goal or setting out to do something, do not quit. Regardless of how things turn out, the version of you created by fighting through grim times is more valuable than you can imagine.
Something I say often. My family members will tell you that one of my favorite sayings is, “having fun is for losers.” Every time I say it, they laugh and shake their heads. Though this may sound harsh, I believe it to be true and important. Let me explain.
Enjoying people and things in your life is crucial and should be fun. However, I often see people set out to achieve something and when it becomes challenging or stressful they change their mindset from wanting to meet a goal to “I just want to have fun.” As an example, if you want to lose fifty pounds but quit after losing three because “it’s just not fun” you are substituting the result you desired for a feeling that has nothing to do with it. Accomplishments that change the course of your life or your family’s life will be a battle as opposed to recreational activities or time with family/friends. Never substitute the pursuit of fun over achievement, you’ll find more enjoyment in attaining goals.
An interesting interaction. I was speaking with someone recently about a mutual friend that is a chiropractor. This doctor is struggling to find professional success and I asked my friend why they thought that may be. Their response involved being “pressured” to go into chiropractic and all sorts of other guesses as to thoughts and feelings. This is not what I had expected to hear and certainly not something I find valid. However, it does bring about an important concept.
We all have stories of our life. As important as they may be to us, the outside world really does not/should not care. It is our responsibility to make the most of our circumstances regardless of what they may be. In this example, it does not matter why this person became a chiropractor. Once they became one, however, it falls on them to take whatever actions necessary to succeed. Focusing too much on our own past and feelings is not effective in forging a path forward. Instead, direct your energy toward where you are, what you have to work with, and what can be done now.
Something important. A friend of mine was talking to me this week about going through various struggles over the past few months. She commented to me that I always remain steady in stressful times and asked for advice/what my secret was. What I told her was simple, yet an important thing for all of us to remember.
When we see others overcoming trying times, we often wrongly assume they are “just built for it.” The reality is, when they go through those things, they are just as scared, unsure, and worried as we would be. Enduring demanding times never feels wonderful in the moment for any of us. However, if we remain diligent in the fight, we tend to look back proudly later at how we overcame struggles and became stronger as a result. The hardest times in my life felt brutal when they occurred but I would not trade them because they transformed me into someone able to deal with stress and problems without falling apart. The next time you face a big challenge, remember that you are tougher than you think, are as equipped as anyone else to handle it, and will become far more resilient in the future as a result.
Some quotes I Love.
“There is no tomorrow.” – Apollo Creed, Rocky III
“One day or day one. You decide.” – Paulo Coelho
“The work works on you more than you work on it” – Alex Hormozi