Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot – September 25th

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot – September 25th

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot – September 25th 1179 2067 Matt Kenney

Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot

On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.

Lessons from a bike.  When I was a kid, I had a sweet Huffy BMX bike that everyone thought was cool. One day I rode it after a rainstorm and came home covered in mud, so my dad installed a mismatched silver fender on my precious ride. In seconds, my bike went from cool to lame. The fender eventually disappeared after I announced I was asking Santa to remove it for Christmas. Looking back, there are two useful lessons buried in that childhood event. First, something great can be damaged instantly by one bad decision. Trust, relationships, reputations, and years of progress can all be altered by a careless moment. Therefore, protect what you’ve built by staying true to your principles and values.

Second, sometimes the best addition to your life is subtraction. We often think improvement requires adding something such as a new habit, strategy, or goal but sometimes the fastest way to improve is to remove what’s making things worse. A bad habit, unhealthy relationship, distraction, or destructive behavior can drag everything else down. As a result, it’s important to occasionally ask yourself what your life may be better without. Be careful what you add to a good life and don’t be afraid to remove what no longer belongs.

How did I do?  Over the last decade, I’ve coached hundreds of football games and had a lot of success. Yet I can probably count on one hand the games where I walked away thinking I did an excellent job. Once the high of the game wears off, I tend to replay every mistake I’ve made.  These include bad calls, missed opportunities, or things I could have handled differently. Sadly, these used to eat me alive, so I came up with a system.  What I’ve found most helpful is something I call an “after action report.” Within 24 hours after each game, I evaluate myself and my team.  What worked? What didn’t? Where did we show promise? What could I have personally done better?

Writing it down changes the way I process the experience. Instead of emotionally beating myself up, I’m objectively teaching myself. It forces me to acknowledge what went well while identifying specific things I can improve, and suddenly mistakes become information instead of ammunition. That creates hope because there’s now something productive to do with disappointment. There’s a big difference between criticizing yourself and evaluating yourself. One keeps you stuck in what went wrong; the other uses what went wrong to make you better the next time.

What’s on tape?  There’s a common phrase in football coaching that I heard throughout my career: “We put that on tape.” It means that whatever weakness you showed in a game is now available for every future opponent to see. Missed tackles, poor coverage, trouble stopping a certain play—expect to see it again until you prove you can handle it. Good teams certainly build around their strengths, but they also understand that opponents will keep attacking their weaknesses. I’ve always thought the same principle applies to life.

If there’s a problem you continually avoid, bet the house it will eventually show up again. Unfinished tasks, unresolved relationship issues, destructive habits, or weaknesses we refuse to address rarely disappear on their own. They tend to keep resurfacing until we finally do something about them. Building on your strengths is important, but so is having the courage to identify and correct the things that repeatedly cause you trouble. Pay attention to what life keeps putting on tape. If the same problem keeps finding you, it may be time to stop avoiding it and start fixing it.

Which one will you choose?  When an animal is attacked and cornered, its survival instincts take over.  It fights, freezes, or tries to escape. As humans, our battles usually aren’t life-or-death, but difficult circumstances can create a similar response. Fear, pain, and disappointment can temporarily paralyze us, and sometimes we need time to absorb what happened. Eventually, however, we face an important decision.  Will this experience become a place I stay, or something I fight my way through?

I’ve known people who have endured adultery, abuse, divorce, failed businesses, financial hardship, and other devastating experiences. Some remained trapped by what happened long after the event itself; others eventually rebuilt and flourished. The difference wasn’t that one group hurt and the other didn’t. Moving forward doesn’t mean pretending something wasn’t painful, it entails deciding that the pain doesn’t get to dictate the rest of your life. We’re all going to take some hits. Take your bumps, give yourself time to recover, and when you’re able, get back in the fight.

Some quotes I Love.

“Some days you crush it.  Some days you just don’t quit.  Both count.” – Joe De Sena

“Everyone falls down. Getting back up is how you learn how to walk.” – Walt Disney

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