Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
A lesson I’ll never forget. Years ago, I was coaching a football playoff game against a coach I had a serious dislike for. During our previous matchup, he had verbally insulted my 12- and 13-year-old players and even tried to start a physical altercation with me in the handshake line afterward. In the playoff game, we eventually pulled far enough ahead to have officially won, but still had time left on the clock. I told my offensive coordinator to run our most complicated play and score as a way of embarrassing the other coach. Instead, my assistant looked at me and said something I’ve never forgotten: “I was thinking we just take a knee and kill the clock. Let’s not lose who we are.” He was right, and that sentence has stayed with me ever since.
Life will inevitably put difficult people and circumstances in our path. The real test isn’t how we behave when people treat us well; it’s whether we can maintain our character when they don’t. My anger toward that coach almost caused me to take my frustration out on players who had done nothing wrong. That’s not who I wanted to be, and I would have regretted it later. When we’re dealing with someone at their worst, our principles, values, and character are being tested more than ever. Don’t allow someone else’s poor behavior to convince you to abandon your own standards. You may not control who you encounter, but you always have a choice about how you react and who you choose to be.
The boring middle. Have you ever started a challenge and been excited by your early progress? Or felt the incredible satisfaction of finally completing a difficult goal? Those moments are rewarding, but I believe the most important part of any worthwhile endeavor happens within “the boring middle.” This is when progress slows, motivation fades, and the excitement and recognition that came with starting begins to disappear. It’s also when most people quit and return to their old habits.
If you’re working hard, making small improvements, and no longer feeling particularly excited about it, you may actually be exactly where you need to be. Major goals aren’t accomplished through constant motivation; they’re attained by continuing after motivation fades. The boring middle is where discipline replaces excitement and consistency starts producing results. Don’t mistake a lack of excitement for a lack of progress. Embrace the boring middle because it’s often where the real transformation happens.
An important concept. What and whom we give our attention to has an enormous impact on the direction of our lives. Spending hours on doom scrolling, drama, or meaningless distractions obviously takes away from productivity. However, the people we listen to can have an even greater influence. It is especially important to be weary of anyone who consistently places limitations on what you believe is possible. Their intentions may not always be bad, but ultimately their perspective is shaped by their own experiences, fears, and expectations.
Our friends and family often want the best for us, but they can only see the world through what they believe is possible. Someone who has struggled with their weight may have difficulty believing you can transform your health. Anyone who has never owned a business may naturally focus on the risks of doing so rather than the opportunities. As we pursue bigger goals, the people closest to us may encourage us, or they may unintentionally project their own limitations onto us. Listen to those who offer wisdom, experience, and genuine support, but remember that someone else’s boundaries don’t have to become yours. Be intentional about who gets your attention, because what you repeatedly listen to can eventually influence what you believe you can become.
Who are you when no one is watching? Most of us naturally exert ourselves more and perform better when we know we’re being watched. Whether it’s at work, in athletics, at an event, or even on social media, having an audience creates accountability. Yet, I believe the real test of character is what we do when there are no spectators. When nobody knows whether we prepared, worked hard, kept our word, or took the easy way out, what choices do we make?
When I was younger, I sometimes convinced myself that I had studied, prepared, or given my best when I really hadn’t. The problem was that even if nobody else knew, I did and that made me feel like a fraud. Today, I place far more value on how I behave when no one is watching because those private decisions shape who I ultimately become. There is a unique satisfaction in living according to your goals, principles, and values even when doing so is inconvenient or uncomfortable. Your character is built in the moments no one witnesses, and eventually, those choices become the person everyone does see.
Some quotes I Love.
“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
“A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very, very dangerous man who has that under voluntary control.” – Jordan Peterson
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