Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays, I like to share experiences from my week—both with patients and in my personal life—that have left a meaningful impact. My hope is that these reflections offer you something of value, a bit of insight or encouragement that resonates with your own journey and inspires you in some way.
Something I believe. If you’ve ever watched a major boxing or MMA match, you’ve likely noticed something interesting after the fight ends – the competitors almost always embrace. Even athletes who disliked each other beforehand often show genuine respect once the battle is over. I believe that respect comes from understanding that a worthy opponent forced them to dig deeper by showing more toughness, discipline, courage, and resilience than they otherwise might have. The struggle itself unlocks a higher level within them. In many ways, life works the same way.
The difficult seasons in our lives challenge us to become stronger, wiser, and more capable. While we rarely choose hardship willingly, adversity has a way of exposing strengths we didn’t know we possessed. Instead of viewing every challenge as something unfair or purely negative, we can choose to see it as an opportunity to grow into a better version of ourselves. That doesn’t mean we have to enjoy the pain, but we can respect it and value what it teaches us. Like fighters leaving the ring, we may carry scars from difficult battles, but those scars can also serve as reminders of what we endured, what we learned, and how much stronger we became.
A great lesson. Years ago, after winning a football championship, I had a memorable conversation in the offseason with my longtime assistant coach. He had coached longer than me and understood the game at an incredibly high level. Because of that, I offered him the head coaching position while I stepped into the assistant role. I assumed he would jump at the opportunity. Instead, he told me, “No we’re not doing that, our teams take on your personality, and that’s more valuable than you probably realize.” That comment meant the world to me and stuck with me because it highlighted something bigger than schemes or strategy. It reminded me that leadership is often less about titles and knowledge alone, and more about the energy, confidence, and culture a person brings to a group.
Leadership absolutely requires preparation, organization, and skill, but people ultimately respond most to authenticity and presence. Teams, families, businesses, and organizations tend to reflect the attitude and demeanor of the people guiding them. When leaders are calm, confident, genuine, and united in purpose, those qualities spread. That’s why trying to imitate someone else’s style rarely works long term. The most effective leaders embrace who they are and use their strengths to positively influence others. My assistant’s words continue to remind me to be myself while striving to lead with integrity and purpose. Doing so can have a far greater impact than you may ever fully realize.
An analogy I like. During a workout in my home gym this week, I kept hitting my head on a piece of equipment I had left sitting out. The first few times it happened, I got irritated, muttered a few words under my breath, and kept going, only to hit it again and again. Eventually, I stopped, put the equipment away properly, and instantly solved the problem. It struck me how often life works the same way. We repeatedly run into the same frustrations, inconveniences, and negative patterns, yet instead of addressing the root issue, we simply react to the consequences repeatedly.
When we continue to experience the same poor results or recurring stress, we always have a choice. We can tolerate it, work around it, or finally decide we’re tired enough of the problem to change it. Real improvement usually begins with ownership. It requires us to stop blaming circumstances and start asking what actions we can take to create a better outcome. Not every issue in life will have a quick or simple fix, but meaningful change almost always starts with the decision to address the problem instead of continually complaining about it. Once that mindset shifts, progress becomes possible.
An important concept. Something I remind myself of often is this: “Do it or don’t, but stop talking about it.” It’s a simple but powerful phrase. Too often, we spend more time discussing what we might do than we do actually taking action. Phrases like “I’ve been thinking about it,” “I was going to start,” or “I would have, but” can easily become ways to feel productive without truly moving forward. Reflection and planning certainly have value, but there comes a point when action is what matters. Intentions are nice but never create results.
The reality is that we cannot control every outcome in life, but we absolutely can dictate our effort. Whether it’s improving our health, strengthening relationships, pursuing a goal, or making a difficult change, meaningful growth requires action and consistency. Excuses and explanations may temporarily protect our ego but never move us closer to what we want. Instead of investing energy into defending why something hasn’t happened yet, it’s best to focus that energy on doing the work itself. “Do it or don’t, but stop talking about it” is ultimately a reminder to align our actions with our priorities and give our best effort to the things that truly matter.
Some quotes I Love.
“What you refuse to confront will grow. Leave the bully unchecked, and the whole playground pays the price.”
“The real man gains renown by standing between his family and destruction, absorbing the blows of fate with equanimity.” – David Gilmore
“Don’t allow yourself to say, ‘I should have done more.’” – Gary Vaynerchuck