Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
Something important. In sports, any weakness a team may have often comes back to haunt them at the most inopportune time. For example, if a baseball team has a bad bullpen or a football team can’t defend the deep pass well, those things may become their undoing in a playoff or championship game. I’ve seen this often on teams I have played on or coached. Since I know this to be true in sports, I try to behave in a way that minimizes the chance it will happen to me in daily life.
Quite simply, when I tell myself I must do something, I have to see it through. If not, I have left the door open just enough where a weakness is developed that can potentially find me later. For example, if I fail to follow through on certain aspects of my business, it can result in problems and loss of income later. When I was training for my ultra-marathons, cutting miles off training runs would only invite fatigue at a point in the race when I could least afford it. If I were to ignore my wife and children, I know it would end up harming our relationship at some point in the future. Doing what you know is necessary, seeing things through, and honoring your commitments is one of the best defenses at preventing unnecessary problems and setbacks in the future.
Something I believe. A statute of limitation is a legal term outlining a deadline/length of time for initiating legal action for civil claims and/or criminal charges. This is done so that when an allegation is made, it can be investigated properly when evidence is available, witnesses have their best recollection, etc. While legally, a statute of limitations applies to something bad or unfortunate, I apply the same principle to my life in a unique way. I believe there should be a statute of limitations on the good things we do/have done as well. I’ll explain.
If someone used to eat well, exercise, be sober, treat their spouse respectfully and lovingly, apply themselves at work, etc. but no longer does, how much should that matter in the present? I would argue not as much as most think. Remarkable results in relationships, finances, employment, health, and others must be earned consistently. What we once did or how much we used to care is not as vital as what we continue to do. Too often, we give ourselves a pass in the present for good deeds we’ve done in the past. While we can certainly be proud of those things, it’s crucial we apply ourselves and not rest on our laurels. If it matters to you, keep putting forth your best efforts to do even better things than you have previously.
An important question. Imagine you were observed every minute of each day for a month. From the second you woke up everything you consumed, every word you said, each interaction, how you were at work, the way you spent free time, etc. was all placed into a file to be evaluated independently. The question is, based on all that data, what would someone infer about you? When they stood up at a meeting and said, “Let me tell you what this guy/gal does” what would it be?
The answer to that question is critical because it identifies where your priorities are. Often, there are things we say are important to us, but it is the action or lack of action that says whether that is the case or not. If you want a better marriage, body, income, or anything else; someone should be able to watch what you do and know immediately whether you’re actively trying to make those things reality. At points in my life, anyone watching me for a month would have rightly inferred I was very scattered and unsettled. Now, my actions while not perfect, clearly display where my priorities lie and what I’m trying to attain. Ask yourself what your actions, habits, conversations, etc. say about you.
Something I’m proud of. My youngest son hates Mondays like you read about. He must get dressed up in a tie for chapel services on that day while also facing the fact his entire school week remains. A week ago, he was particularly upset about this, and I decided to take a different tactic to help him. I asked if he wanted to join me in the garage while I worked out so he could tell me about some of the games he loves. Though I barely knew the game or characters, I was able to ask him questions, and he got progressively more excited. This Monday as he was getting ready, he asked me if I would do that same thing again with him. Then, the next morning he requested that again, and has each day since.
Being able to energize my son and provide him comfort by simply giving him attention and talking about things he enjoys has made such a difference in his mornings. Though I’m sure this tradition will fade in time, for now I consider it one of my most important activities. At one point this week, I turned to him as he stood there in his little shirt and tie rattling on about something I barely understood and asked him to give me his biggest hug. That moment has powered me since and was a great reminder that sometimes the most important things we do for others are just giving them comfort and making them feel important.
Some quotes I Love.
“People will quit on you. You gotta get up every day and make sure you never quit on yourself.” – Joe Rogan
“Weak and overwhelmed individuals respond to others’ success by attacking it.” – Grant Cardone