Dr. Kenney’s Friday 5 Spot
On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I share these in the hope that you might find value in them and have something that resonates with you in your life.
A recent interaction. Someone I’ve known for many years recently did something that caused a lot of hurt to people they love. I was brought into the situation and asked for my opinion and general guidance which I provided. When I spoke with the person who had created this disaster, they told me they were accepting full responsibility for their actions, which I thought was excellent. However, almost immediately after saying that, they began to blame different people, situations, and circumstances for what they’d done. Their apology felt very hollow because there was no true accountability taken and so many excuses were made. Sadly, this can be common.
It is always easy to speak about remorse, a desire for change, and wanting to pursue better actions. We get excited about the positive impact this can have on ourselves and/or those we care about. However, if those words are not followed by actions or we hear continued excuses for injurious behavior, it doesn’t go well. We start to question their sincerity and this quickly erodes trust. None of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. The best recipe is to own those errors and rather than tell people how sorry we are, to show them through our actions.
Something I enjoyed. On Memorial Day each year, I participate in the Murph Challenge. This is a 1-mile run, followed by one hundred pull-ups, two hundred push-ups, three hundred squats, and another 1-mile run while wearing a 25-pound weighted vest. This is a workout created by Navy SEAL Michael Murphy who was killed in Operation Redwing and has become a popular way of honoring him and other fallen veterans. This year, on the final mile run I brought my daughter who is four and youngest son who is six.
Though I had to bribe them with a little iPad time, I told my young kids that if they came with me, they would love it. We each carried an American flag, and I took us out by the street for part of the run and told them, “Lots of people love our country like we do and will be very excited to see us carrying the flag.” The second we arrived near a busy street; cars began honking their horns and my kids were so excited and proud. I’ve been doing runs like this for well over a decade and it never fails to fill me with patriotism and pride. Sharing that experience with my young children meant a lot to me and was incredibly special.
A lesson I’ve learned. As a chiropractor, I often deal with people that have suffered from symptoms of pain and dysfunction for years. Many do little or nothing to try and help correct these problems and hope they’ll just go away. Furthermore, when they eventually come to me (or someone like me), they often expect it to be gone in minutes. Though that can happen, symptoms that have come on progressively over months or years tend to take time to heal and improve. This same premise is true in other aspects of life as well.
Whether you’re battling weight gain, addiction, unhealthy habits, physical or mental issues, you cannot expect it to instantly get better. It took time to get to that place and the trip toward something better will not be instantaneous. Realizing this can be daunting, so I believe in focusing on small actions. Simply decide what the next positive step you could take might be and immediately begin with that. Once you’ve accomplished that, repeat the process, and over time this creates major momentum and results. Given consistency and time, you can bring yourself from even the most hopeless of circumstances to amazing ones.
Something I believe. “The heaviest things in life aren’t iron or gold, they’re unmade decisions.” I heard this quote recently and found it to be completely accurate. The meaning I derived from the quote is that nothing can compare to the burden we feel if we fail to do what we know we should.
Deep down, we tend to know the best path forward for ourselves even if sometimes we pretend we don’t. Perhaps it’s having a tough conversation, taking a certain action, addressing something from our past, or any number of other things. When we know what we should do but fail to do so, it eats us up. It can erode confidence, destroy trust, affect relationships, and more. Therefore, whatever the tough thing is that you’re dreading doing most, it is likely to be precisely what you should be undertaking. It may not be comfortable or perfect but addressing it will give you far greater peace and satisfaction than avoiding it ever could.
Some quotes I Love.
“We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.” – Winnie-the-Pooh
“Either it has meaning or no meaning.” – Phil Leotardo, The Sopranos