On Fridays I like to share experiences I’ve had during the week with patients and in my personal life that I’ve found significant. I like to share them in hopes that you might find value in them and have something resonate with you in your life.
Something I believe. Each one of us will experience tough times in our lives, sometimes through no fault of our own. Someone we love passes away or gets sick, we lose a job, COVID destroys a new business, or any number of possibilities. When such things happen, it is important to realize that stuff can just happen that we did not need, expect, or deserve.
While certain occurrences may not be our fault, how we react to them is absolutely our responsibility. I interact with people constantly that have been dealt a tough hand but are unwilling to let it go. They simply cannot move past their challenges and often become bitter and unmotivated as a result. On the other side of the coin are those that face terribly challenging times but become motivated to create something amazing as a result. If/when something bad happens, do all you can to move forward with purpose and motivation. Getting knocked down is not your fault, staying down is.
An important question. “Are you interested or committed?” This is worth asking yourself in any endeavor because it sets forth a precedent. If you’re interested in something, you will give a level of effort that meets that threshold. For example, you will do something only as long as it’s fun, new, different, or holding your attention. This entails a minimal effort usually for a small duration of time.
When you are committed to something, you are promising yourself that you will pursue the goal regardless of emotion or circumstance. A committed marital partner vows to be there for their spouse no matter what, being committed to a goal is no different. Signs of commitment (in my opinion) include high level of effort, taking personal responsibility, learning from mistakes, asking questions, taking risks, being unafraid to fail, not being guided by feelings, and more. Someone that is interested hangs around until it’s no longer fun, a committed person stays until the job is done successfully.
An important concept. We’ve all been on airplanes as the safety instructions are announced. What I have always found interesting is the part about putting your own oxygen mask on first before helping others in an emergency. This is another way of telling people to take care of themselves so they can better assist those around them. I believe this same principle to be true as it pertains to our health and well-being in daily life.
If you are in a bad place mentally or physically; do you think you can effectively help those around you? Often, we feel selfish for pursuing better health and outcomes for ourselves, but this should not be the case. Caring for yourself through exercise, good nutrition, spirituality, and better mental health (just to name a few); creates a better version of you. This translates into being a stronger parent, sibling, friend, co-worker, coach, businessperson, leader, and more. The greater a person becomes, the more they can help others. For this reason, self-care is not selfish, it is imperative.
An important concept. The standards we set forth are crucial. These include how we behave, the way we do things, our actions, what we allow or disallow, our non-negotiables and more. They are our roadmap for every activity we perform and relationship we have. My personal belief is that our standards serve as a ladder, either they bring us higher or drop us lower.
Doing things only to get by, meeting a bare minimum, or tolerating poor behavior from ourselves/others are examples of low standards. Behaving in this fashion tends to bring about even lower standards later as we get comfortable setting the bar low. Higher standards revolve around diligence, not settling, maximum effort, and being happy with how we treat/are treated by others. High standards tend to elevate further as we see results and we the value of holding ourselves even more accountable. Give thought to the standards you set forth and whether they are bringing you up or down the ladder.
Some quotes I love.
“Winners don’t do different things. They do things differently.” – Shiv Khera
“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” – Truman Capote
“The more you wake up to who you are, the more unbearable it becomes to be who you are not.” – Aubrey Marcus